She Finds Stare-Way to Media Day Heaven

My Super Bowl Diary: Day 2

NEW ORLEANS--So I’m standing by Adam Timmerman on Media Day at Super Bowl 36, and there’s a mob, of course, because as you can imagine, everyone wants to know what Adam Timmerman has to say.

It’s finally my turn to pitch a question, and this little kid cuts in front of me, sticks a Nickelodeon microphone in Timmerman’s face and demands a stare-down.

Now if she had been taller, I’d have seen her coming and tripped the little Katie Couric-wannabe and treated her like any other member of the media trying to beat me to the story. But Emily Pollock, age 11, who hails from Los Angeles of all places, was short enough to avoid early detection--taller than Doug Flutie mind you, but really tiny and quick.

I don’t think I was wrong to say, “Scram, kid,” but I was probably lucky no one heard me because Timmerman thought the pushy kid was cute. So now with more than 1,000 reporters groveling for a quote, Timmerman and the little kid from L.A. were just staring at each other--Timmerman finally announcing, “I got you,” and even though I know the media is supposed to be impartial, I cheered.

I started to tell the guy next to me that Nickelodeon needs to get some tougher reporters if they’re gonna try something as stupid as a stare-down when I realized it was the kid’s father, Danny.

He explained his kid had auditioned for the part of “gascaster” back in L.A., and I nodded my head like I really cared, while writing in my notebook a reminder to call the truancy officers and get this kid back in school.

This is no place for kids, especially when you have Fox’s Jay Mohr asking Marshall Faulk, “Have you ever watched Oz naked?” With no kids around maybe he would have answered the question, and now we’ll never know.

*

THIS YEAR’S Media Day began in the Superdome with a one-hour visit with the Patriots, and this little Las Vegas betting line tidbit for you. The first player to come out was quarterback Tom Brady, and not only was he not limping, but they set it up so he had to walk to the furthest podium at the opposite end of the stadium.

Wouldn’t it be something to learn later that Brady was the first player in Super Bowl history to take a Novocain shot in his sprained ankle to fool everyone on Media Day?

*

I NOTICED ESPN’s Stuart Scott interviewing Damon Huard, and I knew it was Damon Huard because he had his last name on his back and Scott called him, “Damon.” I had no idea why anyone would want to talk to Huard, so I listened in when Scott put a mike in his face and said, “Nobody gives you any love.” I left, wishing Huard the best, because I imagine that’s what Eugene Robinson was feeling a few years ago the night before the Super Bowl, and we know how that turned out.

I saw Roman Phifer, who played for the Rams when I covered them in Anaheim, and I thought it was nice of him not to run away. He’s playing for the Patriots now, but that’s not what he wanted to talk about. “You know, I had to put my UCLA jersey in the closest after the USC game,” he said.

“Me too,” I said.

I also ran into Willie McGinest, and when he grabbed my arm and said, “Write this down: We beat UCLA in basketball and football this year,” I said, “Fight on.”

The key to Media Day is to keep moving in search of something interesting. Running back Antowain Smith, for example, was talking about how much his grandparents meant to him, tattooing their names on his arm and how he knows “She’s up there with me every day,” so I went looking for Plaschke so he could have something to write from here this week.

There was a crowd around Bryan Cox, who doesn’t play much after being hurt, but he’s still liable to say anything--making him MVP with the media.

“Other than the day I got divorced, the saddest day of my life had to be when the Cardinals picked up and left St. Louis,” said Cox, and I would have asked him if he grew up there, but the truant showed up and demanded a stare-down with Cox.

I was kind of hoping the kid would still be staring down Cox when Wanda Sykes from HBO’s “Inside the NFL” showed up, and yelled to Cox, “You go out there and break someone’s neck Sunday, honey,” but the kid had lost and was gone by then.

After the Patriots left, the media was given two hours to eat free food, and the Rams arrived for an hour of intensive questions--beginning with Mohr, who asked receiver Isaac Bruce, “Are you worried about rain being a factor in this game?”

I have to admit, I was concerned when Bruce wasn’t quick to answer and had to look up at the roof in the Superdome for assistance.

Mohr also got tough with Kurt Warner, holding up a Ram media guide and pointing out that Warner had refused to divulge his middle name. Warner came clean. “Eugene,” he said, and I looked it up--Mohr’s middle name is Ferguson.

Although I’m not allowed to write about Xxxxxxx Xxxxxxxxx, a Ram spokesman said she wouldn’t be making an appearance at Media Day, and would be arriving in town Thursday. I don’t know why the Rams think I’d be interested.

At that point the NFL announced Media Day was over, although I noticed a pair of bald guys dressed in Ram jerseys, and representing “The Rosie O’Donnell Show,” still competing with the truant for one last question. I have to say I admired the kid’s moxie, and if it wasn’t past her bedtime, I don’t think we’d see Barry LeBrock as host of “The SIMERS Show” anymore.

*

T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com.