This Just In: Sports’ Hero Quotient Is Nearly Zero

If you believe sports has little to offer the average fan, you’re not alone, writes Greg Cote of the Miami Herald:

“Somehow, over time, sports got away from us. The great American hero machine is broken down, on the road to (you might even say) perdition. Peruse the latest ‘sports’ news and struggle to find much about actual playing. Struggle to find the fun in the games.

“You see, all across sports, athletes gone bad, galloping ticket prices, stagnant or declining attendance, southward TV ratings and palpably rising fan disenchantment in the dried well of tax money for new stadiums.”

More Cote: “Meanwhile, you see television shows celebrate the garish excesses of an athlete’s ‘crib,’ cameras fawning over what should be seen literally as an embarrassment of riches.

“You see, in a current national magazine, that NBA star Jalen Rose pilots a customized $120,000 Cadillac Escalade with satellite TV, six screens, multiple DVD changer, PlayStation2, rearview camera, navigation system, VCR and 14 speakers. And you wonder why the athlete-fan gulf ever widens?”

Trivia time: Who are the three golfers who have won consecutive British Opens since 1960?

Speak up, Tiger: Jay Mariotti of the Chicago Sun-Times, joining others in urging Tiger Woods to condemn the exclusionary policies at all-male Muirfield and Augusta National:

“His father, the Earl of Woods, desperately wants Tiger to have the same social significance ‘of Nelson Mandela.’ So far, he’s closer to Charles Nelson Reilly.”

Casting call: Tom FitzGerald of the San Francisco Chronicle has just the acting vehicle for feuding Giant teammates Barry Bonds and Jeff Kent:

“Director Wolfgang Petersen told Variety his upcoming Batman/Superman film will portray the superheroes as allies who fall out over ‘differing philosophies.’ Neither part has been cast.

“Memo to Peterson: The Giants have a couple of sluggers who will be available in the event of a work stoppage.”

Executive suite: From Steve Hummer of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution: “According to a recent survey, 82% of corporate executives cheat at golf. It can also be extrapolated that 18% cheat on surveys.”

Mascot mania: The Phillie Phanatic’s costume will be donated into the National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum’s permanent collection July 27, joining those of the San Diego Chicken and Youppi, the Montreal Expo mascot.

Tough ticket: About 5,500 new seats will be ready this season for season-ticket holders at Green Bay’s renovated Lambeau Field, increasing capacity to 71,000.

That means the Packers’ season-ticket waiting list dropped by about 800, a team spokesman told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel; 57,500 names remain on the list.

Trivia answer: Arnold Palmer, Lee Trevino and Tom Watson.

And finally: Nick Faldo says he has an agreement with the United Golf Federation of Russia to open a golf academy, design an 18-hole course and build a restaurant in Moscow.

“There’s only 27 holes in Moscow, and I’ve just won the contract to put a new 18 holes there,” he said. “I think golf has a great future in Russia.”