He Should Get Some Cheese for That Whine

Houston Astro owner Drayton McLane isn’t getting much sympathy with his threat to sell the team if baseball’s economic structure doesn’t change.

“When we first got here, the top teams were the Yankees and the Mets at around $110 million to $130 million in revenue,” McLane said. “We moved into the new stadium and all of a sudden we had revenue of $135 million. Unfortunately, our expenses, especially on salaries, also went up.”

To which catcher Gregg Zaun, the team’s player representative, said: “When the big giants like Arthur Andersen go down and they’re proven to be dirty, what are you going to think about the rest of these people and their creative bookkeeping?”

Still more: Jon Heyman of Newsday commented, “McLane is crying he has lost money, but the value of the franchise has almost tripled since he bought the team for $115 million. Plus, he re-sold ballpark-naming rights for tens of millions to Minute Maid. Houstonians who lost their life savings and their jobs to the Enron crooks don’t need to hear this millionaire weeping.”

Trivia time: What is the record for ejections in a season for a rookie manager?

Frightening: Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel is puzzled as to why the august Augusta National would not welcome women members.

“What are those boys afraid of, anyway? Are the old guys afraid they won’t be able to have any more of their all-male parties, where they drink bourbon, smoke cigars and play ‘Pin the Tail on Gloria Steinem’?”

Happy birthday: Nomar Garciaparra is 29 today. The Boston Red Sox shortstop got his name from his father, Ramon--only backward.

Merely memories: Australian Shirley de la Hunty, who as Shirley Strickland won seven Olympic track and field medals, including three golds, auctioned off her memorabilia, including the medals, for $200,000.

The money, she said, helped pay for her grandchildren’s education and promote environmental causes. When she was criticized, she said:

“The medals themselves have done their duty. They’ve been fingered by thousands of school children and adults, they’ve been shown everywhere, and I think that they deserve something a little bit safer.”

Gardening tip: Before Barry Bonds was injured, San Francisco Giant Manager Dusty Baker was considering switching Bonds and Jeff Kent in the batting order for the second time.

But then Baker remembered that, “When you plant a seed, you’ve got to let it grow a little bit before you pull it up and plant another seed.”

Trivia answer: 10, by Bill Dahlen in 1910 and Burleigh Grimes in 1937, both with the Dodgers.

And finally: Lance Armstrong says he is still bothered by French fans yelling “Doper, doper” at him as he continues to lead the Tour de France even though he was cleared of all suspicion.

But Buddy Martin of the Charlotte Sun-Herald says: “When they finally open up Lance Armstrong’s chest, they’re going to find that there’s a V-8 engine firing those piston-like legs which propel him like a jet over the mountains in the Tour de France.”