Advertisement

Forget About the Welcome Wagon--This New Homeowner Wants Her Pizza

Share

A woman who moved into a new housing tract in Paramount called the city with an unusual complaint. The local pizza shops will not deliver to her address because it doesn’t yet appear in the Thomas Guide map book.

“I demand pizza now!” the woman said. “I pay taxes, and my children and I deserve pizza.”

Well, there’s always the frozen variety ... but beware the complicated instructions. Howard Cohen of North Hills bought one brand of frozen pizza that carried the warning: “Cook before eating.”

No second helpings here! UCLA hosted a Digestive Diseases Luncheon this week.

Disastrous Abbreviations Dept.: Linda Benedetti, editor of Paramount’s City Talk publication, sent along a shipping label that was supposed to list a senior nutrition program (see accompanying).

Advertisement

We’re shocked: Danielle Madrigal noticed that a real estate flier seemed to have an X-rated theme--and in otherwise respectable West Covina, no less (see accompanying).

Tinsel Town--you just can’t escape it! John McCafferty of Santa Barbara wrote, “Wandering the oldest street in old Tbilisi, Georgia [the one by Turkey, not by Alabama], surrounded by ancient churches, historic churches and one big synagogue--there it was: a bilingual red, white and blue sign pointing the way to ‘Hollywood Salon.’ ”

It was a hair-styling shop. The name was familiar but not the prices: $3 for women.

If the name fits: Terry Kirker read a newspaper story that mentioned a financial analyst by the name of Ira Loss.

Temperamental turnpike: In the city of Goteborg, Rich Roberts ran across a sign that made him wonder if the Swedes have a special exit for road-rage types (see photo).

So true: A friend of mine was rummaging through her closet when she found an unworn T-shirt that she was given several years ago by Arthur Andersen at a high-tech conference.

The T-shirt carried the company’s logo, accompanied by the boast, “Helping in Ways You Never Imagined!” (Ways prosecutors surely would like to find out about!)

Advertisement

*

miscelLAny: “Can’t you just see the two parked next to each other?” chuckled publicist Alex Litrov.

He was referring to two of the local entries in the nationwide vanity license plate contest sponsored by Eagle One: CYANLA (see ya in L.A.) and OYMINLA (oh why am I in L.A.).

*

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.

Advertisement