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For These Rivals, It’s Best to Forget Methods and Look at Results

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Scenes from a World Cup gone mad, mad, mad, mad, mad:

In Daejeon, South Korea, the United States is playing miserably. The defending is sinful. The finishing is wasteful. The Polish are leading, 3-1, and when the final whistle sounds, American players can be seen smiling, hugging, celebrating, because events on another field far away have conspired to send the United States to the second round.

In the parlance of the sport, this is known as getting the result.

In Oita, Japan, Mexican players are playing keepaway with the ball, pinging it slowly back and forth, while their Italian opponents just stand there, some shuffling their feet, some fixing their hair, most doing less than that, just idly watching the ball roll around on the grass for two, three, four full minutes before even the referee has seen enough and brings the match to a close.

Mexico and Italy are through to the second round. Once again, class: They got the result.

In Yokohama, a rainbow coalition of sportswriters is monitoring the U.S.-Poland and Portugal-South Korea games on television screens inside the international media center. A few writers from Europe, one from South America, two from Africa and a couple Yanks who cannot believe their immediate travel plans hinge on the number of red cards the referee doles out to Portugal and the number of goals Jeff Agoos doles out to Poland.

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The writer from Argentina is pacing between the two overhead screens muttering to himself. He goes to his right, looks up, sees nine-man Portugal yield a goal to the South Koreans and he grunts. He goes to his left, looks up, sees the lead-footed American defense give up a third goal to Poland and he throws up his hands in disgust.

“No France! No Argentina! No Portugal!” he fumes.

“This is not the World Cup!

“This is not serious!”

The United States, while not quite peaking at precisely the right time, is in the round of 16, unlike France, Argentina and Portugal, because while the Americans were stinking it up in Daejeon, Portugal was losing, 1-0, to South Korea to keep the U.S. ahead of Portugal in the race for second place in Group D.

This sets up, against considerable odds and logic, a U.S.-Mexico showdown on Monday, with the winner advancing to the World Cup quarterfinals and the loser, in classic lucha libre fashion, having to leave town.

Yes, the United States against Mexico in a World Cup knockout game. In our lifetime. In a different time zone. In Jeonju, South Korea.

No frigid February in Columbus, Ohio, with Clint Mathis and Josh Wolff skittering around shivering Mexican defenders.

No lung-wringing July in Azteca Stadium, with the voices of 100,000 green-clad fans drowning out the Americans’ desperate gasps for oxygen.

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A neutral site for the biggest soccer rivalry in North America. The red, white and blue against the ever-familiar green jerseys, white shorts and crimson stockings. The Yankees against the Red Socks.

It could be the best thing to happen to soccer in the region in ages, if you can forget the niggling incidentals of how the teams got there.

In three matches in South Korea, the Americans have steadily backslid from the sublime (USA 3, Portugal 2) to the inevitable return to earth (USA 1, South Korea 1) to the absolutely absurd (Poland 2, USA 0 after five minutes). Brought to you by your harried tour guide for this downhill journey, U.S. central defender Agoos, who is having such a calamitous World Cup, polite fans here are starting to wonder, “So, his first sport is baseball, yes?”

Both of Poland’s first two goals, coming two minutes apart, were the result of Agoos misplays. First, he hits the deck trying to clear a low-level cross, but pops the ball softly in the air, teeing it up nicely for Poland’s Emmanuel Olisadebe. Poland, 1-nil. A few blinks later, Agoos is beaten to the ball in front of the U.S. net by a streaking Pawel Kryszalowicz. Poland, 2-nil.

Poor Agoos. He’s one of the most likable personalities on the U.S. squad, stand-up guy and quality teammate. U.S. Coach Bruce Arena seems to be quite fond of him. But years ago, a colleague said it best while watching Agoos pull on a practice bib and start jogging behind the team bench while the U.S. was holding a 2-1 lead over Mexico:

“There’s the equalizing goal warming up on the sideline.”

You never want to wish ill will on anyone, especially someone as personable as Agoos, but how many American television watchers breathed a sigh of relief when Agoos began clutching his calf around the 36th minute, soon limping off the field after that? You too?

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Worth noting: The U.S. was down, 2-0, when Arena replaced Agoos with winger DaMarcus Beasley and went with three defenders. After that, the U.S. played Poland even, one goal apiece. Something to consider for Mexico, anyway.

Mexico, meanwhile, is headed in the opposite direction in this World Cup. Mexico has improved with each game it has played, maxing out against Italy in Oita, where the Mexicans played one of their most poised and professional games in years. Courage is a term bandied about too loosely in sports, but Mexico’s performance in the face of angry Italian elbows in the face qualified--until those final farcical minutes of playing footsy with the enemy.

On a practical level, the strategy made sense: Italy, after 85 minutes of scrapping, finally drew even. If the score held, Mexico would advance as leader of the group, Italy would qualify as runner-up. Everybody goes away happy, and reasonably healthy, right?

Not exactly. Some members of the Mexican media were disturbed by what they considered an inexcusable capitulation. “It took away the dignity” of the match, as one writer disappointedly put it.

What happened in Daejeon and Oita amounted to culture shock on both sides of the border. America loves a winner, but what about a loser who gets rewarded while getting blown out by Poland? Mexican machismo allows for no retreat and no surrender, so how can the Tri simply burn four precious minutes and not even try?

Maybe this explains why the United States and Mexico have never won a World Cup.

Italy has, three times, and after South Korea Coach Gus Hiddink watched his squad withstand Portugal, he elaborated on the reason. The Italians don’t care about playing good games, Hiddink said, they care only about getting the result.

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On the bright side, the United States and Mexico are learning what it takes to succeed at the World Cup.

On the down side, the United States and Mexico are learning what it takes to succeed at the World Cup.

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