Tinseltown Laying Claim Not Only to Hollywood Sign, But Union Station Too?

It’s bad enough that the Hollywood secessionists want to take the Hollywood sign away from L.A. But now Cecil Wiggins of La Canada has forwarded evidence from Trains magazine that Tinseltown is also claiming a downtown L.A. landmark (see photo). One more reason to derail the secessionists, I say.

Let’s hope they didn’t come up with that number on a cash register: Sheldon McClusky, Chuck Collazzi and several other readers pointed out that the 99 Cents Only chain had a bit of trouble adding figures in a congratulatory Lakers ad (see accompanying).

They were short by three, which happens to be the number of the Lakers’ Devean George. But the Lakers didn’t use George all that much during the season, either.

Turning to other sports: Leo Jasay came across a shrimp that should be on the wrestling channel (see accompanying). It appears the critter is looking for the limelight too.

So those weren’t rats scampering overhead! The Laguna News-Post carried a resident’s alert to police about “several transients who appeared to be living on the roof” of a tire business. The newspaper said, “He told police that he noticed that they slept on the roof until late in the afternoon.”

Speaking of tires: Have you seen that billboard for a luxury car that says: “On the menu--asphalt flambe”? I guess it’s supposed to mean that the sleek coupe really burns up the roads. But the first thing I thought about when I saw “asphalt flambe” was disintegrating tires.

“Duh!” Award winner: Robert Weibezahl of Westlake Village noticed this shocking headline in a Valley newspaper: “Deputies on Beach Patrol Find Summer the Busiest Time of Year.”

Oh, nuts: “Let’s face it, the highly publicized rankings of colleges and universities, such as those in U.S. News and World Report, use suspect criteria and are, well, for the birds,” began the note from Vince Cuseo.

Cuseo agrees with the position of the Campus Squirrel Listings’ Web site that there is a correlation between the quality of learning at a college and the health of its resident squirrels.

Of course, Cuseo is also the director of admissions at Occidental College, which bagged a rating of four squirrels compared with three for its much-larger neighbor, UCLA.

Oxy was praised for “bushy-tailed critters” while UCLA’s were characterized as “underfed” and “mangy” on the Web site (www. gottshall.com/squirrels/campsq. htm).

Caltech, by the way, received a rating of just two, because of a virtual absence of squirrels. Maybe the creatures fear they might be subjected to experiments by the practical joke-loving students.

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miscelLAny: No wonder postal rates keep going up. The Seal Beach Sun said a man “tried to buy stamps from a machine inside a lobby.”

“When the machine would not accept his dollar, it gave him $35 worth of stamps.”

And what did he do? Why, he “turned in the stamps to the police.” Just like you or I would have done, right?

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.