Like Mike? Then Just His Being There Was Enough

Actually, it was just like old times. He came, he saw, we lost it.

How did Michael Jordan’s comeback go? Let’s just say it fell somewhere between tainting all he had done, as many had predicted, and saving America, which was also mentioned as a possibility.

In real life, we didn’t have to wait until he had knee surgery to find out if his season would end early.

It was always going to end early.

The only question was if it would be late April, if the Washington Wizards didn’t make the playoffs, or early May if they lost in the first round.

The playoffs last until late June, but everyone knew Jordan’s season would be over by then, although that was the only thing everyone agreed on.

The trail looks as if it has already run out, unless the young Wizards can make it worth Jordan’s while to return this season, rather than next. Inconveniently, they’ve lost six games in a row and face a schedule crunch.

From start to presumed finish, it was an eye-of-the-beholder trip, in which everyone had to have an opinion and all the opinions seemed to line up according to one’s interests or personal hobgoblins.

The most memorable thing about Jordan has always been, not artistry or success, which were real enough, but the attendant hysteria, which has always been surreal.

Like Chance the gardener, in the movie “Being There,” Jordan’s real significance, as opposed to his basketball/entertainment value, lies in what he shows us about ourselves.

Chance was an innocent whose serenity so impressed powerful, doubt-ridden men, they didn’t notice he was stuck in childhood.

Jordan was a living legend, so everything he did was deemed to be important. In modern society, if nothing momentous is happening, saturation coverage will make whatever comes up seem momentous.

So the babble poured forth again....

Chicago reporters ripping the Bulls’ management said Jordan shouldn’t have left and should have come back there.

Chicago reporters defending the Bulls (a distinct minority) said it was Jordan’s choice, noting his vows never to play anywhere else or for anyone but Phil Jackson.

New York writers thought it was an ego trip and, worst of all, one they couldn’t get behind. Had Jordan returned as a Knick, they would have greeted him like Charles Lindbergh.

Ric Bucher, ESPN magazine’s crack NBA writer, vowed not to cover the story, which he considered a sad addendum. Of course, ESPN magazine, where the motto is, “Who says we can’t put Kobe on the cover again?” is focused on its demographics, or in other words, teenagers.

However, Jordan was of keen interest to Sports Illustrated, which is bigger in the merchandising end and yearns to do commercials with him. Coincidentally or not, former NBA writer Jack McCallum, who’s on good terms with Jordan, was back on the beat, Jordan having refused to sit down with all other SI writers since the magazine mocked his baseball dream ... eight years ago.

(Jordan, being Jordan, told McCallum he was sorry, a boycott’s a boycott.)

Everywhere, columnists lined up to weigh the moral aspects of it all.

Some (really) said the story would pull America out of its post-Sept. 11 gloom.

Some said it would taint Jordan’s career, as if it were theirs, not his.

Guys went after other guys. The New York Daily News’ Mike Lupica kept railing at media lackeys who seemed to resemble ESPN’s Stuart Scott.

In my personal opinion--as usual--all my colleagues are morons. If Jordan wanted to play basketball again, what was the big deal?

He wasn’t the same Jordan, but he was great, playing on his tiptoes and wiles. It didn’t merit the networks’ game-a-week pace but it was remarkable, like watching Larry Bird hold back the clock.

What it wasn’t, however, was momentous, even for the NBA.

Seasons are about superstars and championships. Jordan was now down the line, in also-random.

His All-Star return was nice, especially his appearance with an openly admiring Allen Iverson, but now Jordan was an elder statesman, not a threat. Acknowledging his new station--happily--Jordan said he knew he couldn’t take over this game, adding he’d warned Kobe Bryant, “If you make this personal, I’m going to foul out in the first quarter.”

Peers called Jordan an MVP candidate. It was true but the operative word was “candidate.”

The sentimental favorite as most valuable player, Jason Kidd, is a lock. The real MVP in any season, even this one, is Shaquille O’Neal. Several others--Bryant, Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett, Tracy McGrady--have passed Jordan by.

Just when it seemed--and Jordan thought--he was in the groove, his right knee began swelling, which can happen to even a remarkable 39-year-old, especially one who had been retired for three years.

Clinging to their interlude, the Wizards managed to spin his surgery so positively, the Baltimore Sun reported: “Wizards get good news on Jordan.”

If there’s any good news for them, it’s only that Coach Doug Collins, who has talked to Jordan, insists Mike will return, if not this season, next.

“I think he really wants to finish this season and then he’ll make an evaluation for next year,” Collins said Friday in Chicago. “... What we do over the next 15 games will tell a lot about what Michael will do.”

Oops. The Wizards, once promising, then lost to the Bulls, once dismal, by nine.

Nine of the Wizards’ next 13 games are on the road, after which only four weeks will remain.

So, if it’s a while before we see Your Not Quite as Highness, thanks for the additional memory.

It wasn’t like your wave-bye-bye shot in Salt Lake in ‘98, but it was fine. It says here.

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Faces and Figures

The Soft Parade: With the Sacramento Kings struggling, hard-nosed guard Bobby Jackson went off on teammates: “You’ve got to foul ... somebody. When guys are making shots, you’ve got to get up on them and let them know that, ‘No, you’re not doing this to me tonight.’ Sometimes I wonder if we’ve got that. I know some guys have got it and some guys don’t.” ... Postscript on the Chris-Webber-and-Tyra-Banks- want-to-be-alone story: The Sacramento Bee ran a letter that read: “I will grant no further interviews to the Sacramento Bee. What Elle MacPherson and I do in private is our business. (Signed) Stan Taylor, Sacramento.” ... Then there were the San Antonio Spurs, still awaiting their second-half run. They routed the Kings in a ballyhooed test, then lost at home by 24 to Minnesota, whereupon Coach Gregg Popovich suggested--for the fourth time this season--they were soft. Then they lost at home to the Phoenix Suns and Pop went for No. 5. “We have to be realistic about ourselves,” David Robinson said. “We’re not a championship-caliber team right now.” ... Milwaukee Buck Coach George Karl had carte blanche before talking owner Herb Kohl into giving Anthony Mason a four-year, $18-million deal. Now Kohl doesn’t want any more personnel suggestions from Karl. This is lucky, because the exasperated Karl wanted to go after Raef LaFrentz and Nick Van Exel, offering Sam Cassell, Glenn Robinson and/or Tim Thomas.... Mason remains his old sunny self, with the usual answer for their woes--throw the ball to him more. “They attacked the basket,” he said after the loss to the Lakers, “and we attacked the air, taking jump shots.” ... What game is he watching? Swollen well above his old 250 pounds, Mason can’t get off the ground and poses a minor threat in the post or out with his comical flat shot. Opponents barely guard him, much less double-team him.

After the Suns lost at Chicago, Penny Hardaway, who sees a Toronto knee specialist, decided to drop in on him, since he was in the neighborhood, more or less. However, Hardaway forgot his passport, which had to be sent from home, requiring him to miss the next game, but then he rejoined the team. Noted a Sun insider: “The tragic news for the Suns: Hardaway comes back to America.” The Suns now start Joe Johnson ahead of Hardaway and want to move Penny, but his contract has four years at $30 million left. He says he won’t help by, say, opting out in ’03 to promote a trade to his hometown, Memphis.... You won’t believe this, but now Penny’s offended: “There’s a whole lot of pressure on me being an injured guy who wasn’t supposed to play again. Every mistake I make, the fans are getting on me. Everybody is down on me. Everybody has given up on me.”

Wherever you go, there you are: Charlotte’s Elden Campbell was ripped by Coach Paul Silas for lackadaisical play, benched in the fourth quarter of the next game, then argued with Silas in the game after that and was banished to the dressing room. In the next game, a home loss to the New Jersey Nets, Campbell got an offensive rebound in the closing seconds with the Hornets behind by two points. Unfortunately, he thought they trailed by three, passed up the game-tying layup and threw the ball out to Baron Davis, who missed a desperation three-point shot.... Charles Barkley on the Winter Olympics: “Curling is not a sport. I called my grandmother and told her she could win a gold medal because they have dusting in the Olympics now.”