Sir Charles Becomes the Media’s Court Jester

Skip Bayless in the San Jose Mercury News commenting on Charles Barkley: “He’s all Barkley and no bite. [He] is now no more than a glib Dennis Rodman, willing to say or do just about anything to get the attention he craves like cheeseburgers.

“He’s a near-300 pound Joan Rivers, hilariously ridiculing the attire and performances of today’s players because, in large part, he’s a frustrated ex-player who was never any more than a superstar wannabe ...

“Now Barkley, the live-TV lightning rod, is no more than an unwitting comedian, failing to realize his audience and even friends are often laughing at--instead of with--him. He’s even funnier because he actually believes his own baloney.”

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Trivia time: When did the USC men’s team first participate in the NCAA basketball tournament?

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A true artist: Rick Anderson of the Arizona Wildcats commenting to Bruce Pascoe of the Arizona Daily Star on teammate Luke Walton’s contribution in assists and scoring in the 81-71 victory over USC in the Pacific 10 tournament final on Saturday: “[Walton] is like a painter or a Liberace or something like that. The guy can just create.”

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A minor ouchie: Scott Ostler in the San Francisco Chronicle: “David Justice, slight hamstring pull. In baseballese, Justice tweaked a hammie. Sounds almost like a fun injury, doesn’t it?

“‘What did you do over the weekend?’ Went up to the lake, drank some beer, did some fishin’, tweaked a hammie.’”

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More Ostler: “Golf according to [John] Daly: Grip it and rip it. Golf according to Sergio Garcia: Grip it and grip it and grip it and grip it ... “

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Baseball dilemma: San Francisco Giant Manager Dusty Baker in an interview with Art Spander of the Oakland Tribune: “When you’re managing, you’re at the mercy of your players. You can do everything right and it doesn’t work out, or you can do everything wrong and your players get you out of it.

“If you make decisions and they don’t work, it doesn’t mean they were wrong.”

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Wow! How revealing: In an article in Esquire magazine, Milwaukee Buck Coach George Karl reveals that he never wears underwear while coaching.

Did we have to know that?

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Looking back: On this day in 1978, UCLA defeated Kansas, 83-78, in a first-round NCAA West regional game in Eugene, Ore. The Bruins then lost to Arkansas, 74-70, on March 16 in a regional semifinal game.

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Trivia answer: 1940. The Trojans defeated Colorado, 38-32, in a first-round game before losing to Kansas, 43-42, in a national semifinal at Kansas City, Mo.

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And finally: Shaquille O’Neal told Norm Clarke of the Las Vegas Review-Journal that he was about to close a deal to buy the home of teammate Brian Shaw in Las Vegas, saying it was “being a good businessman.”

His rationale? He told Clarke he usually spends about $200,000 on a trip to Las Vegas, including $10,000 for a private plane to bring in his pals, $50,000-$60,000 for hotel rooms and another $50,000-$60,000 gambling.

Having a home there will reduce his overhead significantly.

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Mal Florence