When a Sheriff’s Deputy Asks to See Your Driver’s License, Don’t Be a Dope

Acluttered wallet can be such a nuisance. Take the suspected car thief who was stopped by a sheriff’s deputy in Paramount. When the guy handed over his driver’s license, the deputy noticed something was stuck to the back of it. And it was “not the noble organ-donor sticker,” reported the city’s newsletter, “but a small baggie of cocaine.”

More oh-so-grand auto theft stories: Deputies left the car keys in an unlocked car in Paramount hoping to lure a villain into showing himself in a neighborhood that had experienced several car thefts. However, the bait car operation was foiled when a resident spotted a man getting into the car and chased him off, yelling, “Get away from that car! That’s not your car!”

In a separate case, a man arrested on suspicion of driving a stolen car told deputies he wasn’t stealing it. He was only moving it.

Mother’s Day note: A Long Beach store specializing in “culinary style and function” had a not-so-tender gift suggestion (see accompanying).

I know some moms who might use it as a club on the noggin of the giver.

Not a Mother’s Day note: Harry Hultine of La Canada Flintridge and several other readers sent along a sign that acquired new meaning with the loss of one letter (see photo).

Definitely not a Mother’s Day note! Tom Beckett of Ojai saw an ad for a job opening with a risque implication (see accompanying).

Sobering experience? The Saddleback Valley News police log listed this 1:24 a.m. report from a Lake Forest resident on Avalon Street: “Informant states that a man just jumped over the informant’s fence and fell into his pool and is now walking on Avalon soaking wet.”

California SLIM: Pamela Saffire of Sherman Oaks noticed that two reimbursement checks received by her company were from “SLIM Workers’ Compensation Trust Account.” No, it’s not another Southern California fitness group. SLIM stands for Schools Linked for Insurance Management.

Flushed with excitement: San Juan Capistrano-based Fluidmaster, a maker of toilet repair kits, offers $100 each month for a “winning toilet tale.” The latest prize went to Natha Landers, who told this story: “I have two Persian cats who are in love with the magic of flushing. Every time they hear the toilet’s flush, they dash into the bathroom, peer into the bowl and watch as the water swirls away and continue watching as it refills.”

Landers added: “If only they would learn to use the toilet instead of the litter box, I would happily dash into the bathroom to flush for them.”

I have a suggestion: Try forbidding them to use the toilet. Being cats, they’re sure to disobey.

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miscelLAny: The other day, I said that Alfred Hitchcock’s writers had never thought of a scenario as wild as the experience of a Los Alamitos man whose windshield was cracked when a crow dropped a steak bone on it. Well, that’s obvious, Don Burke points out. After all, the bone didn’t hit the driver’s “Rear Window.” And it’s unlikely the crow suffered an attack of “Vertigo.” On the other hand, crows in my neighborhood are “Notorious” for their brazen behavior.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve .harvey@latimes.com.