It’s Lame Canada No More in the NHL

With three Canadian teams still alive in the NHL playoffs and Toronto or Ottawa guaranteed to reach the Eastern Conference finals, Canada has wrested part of its national sport back from its neighbors to the south, at least for the moment.

That’s only just, writes Woody Paige of the Denver Post:

“Ten million people live in Ontario, Canada, and all but eight play hockey.

“Those eight are degenerates, ruffed grouse or basketball players.”

In the other Eastern Conference semifinal, the storied Montreal Canadiens are playing the not-so-storied Carolina Hurricanes.

Call that the Habs versus the Hab-nots.

Penalty phase: For an inkling of how seriously Canadians take their hockey, consider that the Toronto Sun publishes a critique of every penalty called in Maple Leaf games, noting the referees, the situation, and assessing whether the call was accurate.

The best part might be the headline: “Whine Tasting.”

Trivia time: Which Canadian team is the most recent to reach the Stanley Cup finals?

Skating ahead: The Hurricanes have one advantage over the Canadiens. They have Kristi Yamaguchi.

The former Olympic skating champion is married to Carolina defenseman Bret Hedican, and she visited the Canadiens’ Molson Centre with the Stars on Ice tour April 30.

When the Hurricanes arrived at the arena last week, they were greeted by handwritten signs left by Yamaguchi in the visitors’ locker room, the training room and the coaches’ office that read, “Go Hurricanes.”

“She told me she did it, but there was no way I expected them to still be here,” Hedican said.

Most Valuable News Conference: The New York Times’ Mike Wise compared and contrasted Allen Iverson’s “profane, Tysonesque rant” last week with Tim Duncan’s humble news conference after succeeding Iverson as MVP.

“Two faces of the NBA, held up for public inspection. Bad guy/good guy, the ground floor of sports-star perception. Just like a Western movie, you can root for and against someone. It’s almost too easy.

“More complex and harder to grasp is the difference between this year’s and last year’s MVP.

“Winning made Iverson’s misogynistic rap lyrics less of an enticing story. He was not so different when the 76ers began their improbable run to the finals a year ago. There were just more reasons to like him, to allow him into the mainstream because he played so hard and his team won.”

Add Duncan: It’s a little-known fact, Wise writes, that “Duncan has tattoos and a pierced tongue and he is one of the most uncooperative players when it comes to interviews. It’s not a big deal. He does not fit the profile, so that part of him is left unexamined.”

Trivia answer: The Vancouver Canucks, who lost to the New York Rangers in the 1994 finals. Before that, at least one Canadian team reached the finals 10 of the previous 12 years.

And finally: The last word on the proliferation of bowl games comes from USA Today’s Mike Lopresti: “Oh, good. Three more bowl games. We need them like we need three more Taco Bells.”