An Incident Report in Big Bear’s Police Log Airs One Man’s Dirty Laundry

In terse cop-speak, the crime log of the Big Bear Grizzly brings you a Laundromat employee’s account of a startling bare encounter: “Male subject taking off pants, putting them in commercial washing machine just before closing time. Wearing only his boxers, subject left location.

“Reporting party closed and locked business and subject has returned and is staring in windows. Left in dark blue van, last seen wearing white shirt and blue boxers.”

Will it sell before Thanksgiving? You have to wonder if the feathers are flying as home shoppers visit the property spotted by Jean Dunbar of Newport Beach (see accompanying). It’s gated, which I guess makes sense with all the wildlife.

‘Duh!’ award winner: Neil McCarthy of San Clemente points out there are few things less illuminating than water bottles whose ingredients label carries information about the calories, grams of fat, carbohydrates, etc. per serving. Then again ... Phyllis and Mark Dimant of Oxnard did notice a startling nutrition fact on a bottle of juice (see photo).

Now that’s security! “At least my in-law won’t have to renew this card for 1,001 years,” said Yoshie Tachiki of L.A. (see photo).

Bless that worker: Visiting the new cathedral in L.A., John Madden of San Clemente “stopped at the cafeteria for a sandwich and ordered an imported beer. When the lady at the register said, ‘Let me pour this for you,’ crisis ensued.

“The checkout line ground to a halt while personnel scurried hither and yon in vain search for what could not be found at the new cathedral: an old-fashioned church key.”

That’s bottle opener to you non-drinkers.

“Eventually,” Madden said, “a male employee came to the rescue with skills undoubtedly learned in high school, using a pie server to do the job.”

Unexpected return serve: Bill Lurie of San Pedro has a tennis court in his backyard, and kids from the local elementary school learned that he was a good source for used tennis balls. They took turns knocking at his door, at which time he’d hand out one to a customer.

“One day,” he said, “a little boy came to the door and asked for a tennis ball. After I gave him one, he began leaving without saying ‘Thank you.’ I wanted to improve his manners so I yelled, ‘Thank you!’

“He turned around and said to me, ‘You’re welcome.’ ”

miscelLAny: The police log of the Seal Beach Sun reported that a man at a bus stop “was wearing a white baseball cap, khaki pants and a gas mask.” Maybe he wanted to ensure that no one would sit next to him.

*

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.