Part Reagan, Part Clinton and All Political Theater

It’s entirely possible that I’m beginning to hallucinate after writing 16 or 17 recall columns the past two months. Or it’s possible that for entirely selfish reasons (lots of empty space to fill over the next three years), I would give my right kidney to have an action hero running the state.

But I think I was in the presence of a natural Wednesday afternoon when Arnold Schwarzenegger walked up to a hotel podium near LAX and launched a political career.

There’s an old line about actors wishing they were politicians, and vice versa, but Schwarzenegger proved there might not be a difference.

If you were expecting the Terminator to come off like a rube, it didn’t happen.

If you were expecting him to be so unfamiliar with the ABCs of governance that you’d want to leap into the arms of Gov. Gray Davis, you probably should be getting help.

By the time Schwarzenegger was done making a speech and fielding questions in front of a frighteningly large international media horde, he had already established himself as a more skilled politician than the career politicians he’s running against.

Not that he had much to say, mind you. But he was very good at saying next to nothing, and that could be a winning ticket in a seven-week campaign that’s piped into living rooms from Crescent City to Coronado. Politics is a sleight-of-hand enterprise, like acting, and Arnold’s already got it down cold.

There’ll be no new taxes, no cuts in education, and businesses will no longer be harassed into fleeing the state, which will mean fantastic jobs for one and all. Unfortunately, despite insisting the budget deficit was caused by sinfully irresponsible overspending, Schwarzenegger couldn’t name a single program he’d cut.

Not one.

I was a little surprised, frankly, because Arnold had just led a private 2 1/2-hour summit of his so-called California Economic Recovery Council. What the heck were those geezers talking about in there, the price of cigars?

But Arnold didn’t perspire when pressed. He said he’d have to get one of his panels of experts to conduct an audit, and then he might let us know about possible cuts later in the campaign.

But the sound bite you were more likely to hear on the evening news was Arnold complaining that you’re taxed from the moment you get up in the morning and flush the toilet, and you’re taxed all day long, and if we don’t put a tough guy like Conan the Barbarian in charge, they’re likely to come up with a sleeping tax.

Or you’re liable to hear Arnold saying he tells his 6-year-old not to spend more money than he has, and he’s going to teach legislators the same lesson.

Schwarzenegger is half Reagan and half Clinton. You corner him, and he throws you a smile or a quip, film at 11. He seems to believe people aren’t looking for details so much as sincerity, passion and presence. And he could be right.

“He’s a showman, a master of political theater,” says GOP strategist Arnie Steinberg.

Adding to the theatrics, Schwarzenegger was flanked by billionaire investor Warren Buffett and Reagan Cabinet member George Shultz. At one point, I spaced out for just a split second, and thought I’d wandered into a wax museum.

One reporter demanded to know why anyone should vote for a guy who needs to conduct an audit before he can name a single program that ought to be cut, especially when we’ve got a bunch of legislators in Sacramento who’ve already studied these things.

Because those so-called experts are part of the problem, Schwarzenegger said, hitting on a theme that’s sure to connect with lots of folks across the state.

If they know what to cut, he said, why haven’t they chopped away? Because they’ve been co-opted by special interests. But the Terminator will soar above the fray, using his own money to get elected instead of hitting up donors who expect something in return.

“The public doesn’t care about figures,” Schwarzenegger said when pressed for specifics. “They’ve heard figures for the last five years, figures and graphs and percentages and all those kinds of things. What the people want to hear is, are you going to make the changes? Are you tough enough to go in there and provide leadership? That’s what this is about, and I will be tough enough.”

The show had a perfect ending, too, when the last question was asked by a reporter from “Entertainment Tonight.” She wanted to know what role Rob Lowe would have in the campaign, and what other Hollywood celebrities would be signing on.

Like I said, my right kidney.

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Steve Lopez writes Sunday, Wednesday and Friday. Reach him at steve.lopez@latimes.com.