Woods Presents Hefty Barrier for Mickelson

Now I don’t know what it is about Phil Mickelson and Bill Dwyre, besides losing all the time, that makes them the laughingstocks of golf.

I know in Phil’s case, some people think he’s a little out of shape, unfocused and mostly a choker unable to cope with the pressure of hanging with Tiger Woods.

As for Dwyre, the sports editor of The Times, he’s just not any good.

Now most people would agree Hefty -- as Jim Rome has anointed him, and I think he was referring to Mickelson and not Dwyre -- is pretty good, but then there are days like Sunday’s final round in the AT&T; Pebble Beach National Pro-Am when he shoots an 80, and ends up placing 64th in a field of 64.

The suspicion here is that someone in the gallery growled like a Tiger or mentioned Woods will be waiting for him in San Diego this week. That would explain Phil going double bogey, bogey, bogey to start.

Hefty closed the front nine with a 45 after recording double- and triple bogeys, including a ball in the water, and while that might be a career best for Dwyre -- only one ball in the water -- when a pro of Mickelson’s caliber plays like that, it’s a joke.

This week he might not break 90 -- unless Woods lets him off the hook today.

Woods is going to meet with the media at Torrey Pines in preparation for this week’s Buick Invitational, and by coincidence Golf Magazine will also hit the newsstands with Mickelson’s interview bashing Woods’ golf clubs.

“He hates that I can fly it past him now,” Mickelson said. “He has a faster swing speed than I do, but he has inferior equipment. Tiger is the only player good enough to overcome the equipment he is stuck with.”

Well, that’s not exactly true. There is no question I play with inferior equipment, because Dwyre tees off with an illegal driver -- one designed to let the ball travel farther no matter how old or crummy the guy holding the club.

Like you, I find it disturbing the sports editor of The Times would appear in charity golf tournaments and compete against his own staff with an illegal club -- rendering everyone else’s equipment inferior.

(I’d hope any tournament in the future that invites Dwyre would ask the hacker to remove the illegal club from his bag to maintain the integrity of the game. I’d do this, but I don’t want to give him any ideas about removing anything else.)

FYI: Deputy sports editor Dave Morgan said he’d be happy to replace Dwyre on the charity golf circuit, and knowing how hard he’s working behind the scenes to replace Dwyre as sports editor, I’m not surprised.

*

MICKELSON FOLDED when his comment caused a stir -- seemingly afraid of upsetting the Tiger. “As I’ve said many times, I have great respect for Tiger,” he said, and I believe him, because the only thing I think he has on his mind 24 hours a day is the guy swinging the inferior equipment.

That’s what makes Mickelson the most compelling figure in sports today, a golfer with the talent to dominate play, but who is going to look like someone auditioning for the Three Stooges when confronted by the specter of Woods.

Last week, controversy swallowed him whole at Pebble. Nothing appears to have changed. It would have been nice to see him display some backbone, remain competitive and give Woods something else to think about rather than allowing Woods to dictate the tenor of forgiveness or combat at today’s news gathering.

Where’s the true grit, and who-cares-if-Tiger-is-upset bravado, that might actually translate into something besides a late-round collapse?

This week they face off at a place that accounts for Mickelson’s finest moment in dealing with his golfing demon. Woods came here on a six-tournament winning streak in 2000, and Mickelson, who grew up playing Torrey, won by four strokes. Shocking.

I can’t remember Dwyre beating me unless he was keeping score, so I don’t put much stock in something that everyone else would consider a fluke, such as Mickelson beating Woods at Torrey Pines. Once in a lifetime, maybe.

No matter the outcome, the mark of greatness on the pro level is to want to win at all costs, and Mickelson’s surrendering to Woods -- even if it is to defuse controversy -- speaks to a weakness he’ll probably never overcome.

As for Dwyre, I’d be more worried about Morgan -- than trying to beat me.

*

TNT BEGAN its coverage of the NBA All-Star game with Laker part-owner Magic Johnson talking about the league’s great players, and after saying some things about Kobe Bryant, he introduced the next player by saying, “but probably my all-time favorite is Tracy McGrady.” I’d like to see him explain his reasoning to Kobe.

*

I PUSHED hard for Pete Carroll to get the San Francisco 49ers’ job, as you know, because I wanted him to get his due for pulling off a miracle and making USC a winner. But now I can see where he is headed....

Carroll spoke at the Avengers’ kickoff luncheon -- the same day that the Trojans signed the kid of the Arena League’s commissioner -- and then attended the Avenger game Sunday in Staples Center. I guess we know who will be coach of L.A.’s next NFL team -- after Avenger owner Casey Wasserman completes a deal for a new stadium and brings a team here.

*

TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Kevin Fay:

“According to Title IX feminist proponents, Billie Joe MacAllister didn’t jump off the Tallahatchie Bridge -- she was pushed by her husband.”

Fact is, Billy Joe was a guy. Maybe even the first Title IX victim.

*

T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com.