Card-Carrying Truck Driver Reportedly Engages in Questionable Activities

No wonder she never gets a card on Mother’s Day.... The L.A. Independent reported that a truck driver questioned about his handicapped parking placard explained that it “belonged to his mother. But he couldn’t tell officers her name because she had remarried.”

This just in: Police later determined the placard was stolen. And not from his mother.

A student who should repeat Driving 101: USC campus police “responded to a student whose vehicle became pinned between a planter and a rock while he was driving on the sidewalk,” the Daily Trojan reported. “A tow truck was requested to free the vehicle.”

No word on whether the sidewalk sojourner was piloting an SUV.

On the other hand, driving CAN be confusing in L.A.: Just look at the dueling explanations found by Jim Garcia on the Traffic.com Web site (see above).

And then there are the even scarier aspects: In Hollywood, Phil Proctor of Beverly Hills noticed a business for cars ventilated in a war zone, or an L.A. freeway, if there is a difference (see photo).

The height of impracticality: As one who has trudged about with a bad back, I understand the disbelief of Charles Forsher of West L.A. when he looked up and spotted the location of a chiropractic office (see photo). Forsher said the business has since moved, “probably to a ground floor location.”

Uneasy neighbors: Mention was made here of the John Wayne statue, a longtime fixture on Wilshire Boulevard, that finds itself standing in front of what is now the Flynt Publications building.

Fred Frey wrote: “Maybe someone should put a blindfold on the statue so at least the Duke doesn’t have to see what is going on in the building. It would be a good idea for a right-wing act of guerrilla art.

“Oh I forgot there are no right-wing artists. Sorry ... “

Well, if it’s any comfort, at least Wayne is gazing out at Wilshire, with his back turned to the porn headquarters.

Happy Valentine’s Day, anyway: The crime log of the Long Beach Press-Telegram said “a man phoned police to report that his girlfriend punched him in the eye and threw a box of chocolates at him during an argument.”

miscelLAny: Author Nick Novick writes me that his crime novel “Dead Lawyers,” which is set in Orange County, has just been published. It’s about a guy bumping off lawyers right and left. But Novick didn’t tell me what the crime was.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.