Session Is Less Than Full Monty

What has become of our jolly Monty?

Colin Montgomerie showed up at Riviera in a good mood, happy about his off-season workout regimen that included swimming 100 laps a day for eight consecutive weeks at his pool at home and relieved that his back was healthy again for the first time in two years.

Then he missed the Nissan Open cut by one shot.

Then he lost his first match at La Costa, 3 and 2, to Alex Cejka.

What followed was an interview session that may have set a record for brevity and lack of information. Here is the complete transcript:

Question: Comments on the round?

Monty: I didn’t play very well, that was it. Thanks.

Q: Anything particularly not please you?

Monty: No, not really, as I said, I just didn’t play very well.

Q: Are you playing next week?

A: Yes.

Q: In Dubai or somewhere else?

A: I’m not interested in next week at the moment.

*

David Davies of the Guardian believes some of the participants in the finals in this match-play event have left something to be desired.

Wrote Davies: “Last year, it was Kevin Whatshisname versus Scott Who; Jeff Maggert won one year, beating [pause to look it up] Andrew Magee; and the final of 2001 is a quiz question.”

*

In the Clark bracket, Darren Clarke defeated Tim Clark, thus setting up a fantasy second-round match with either Dick Clark or Clark Kent.

Clarke says he worked with Butch Harmon two weeks ago at Torrey Pines and now feels good about his game. He also has a new TaylorMade driver and feels confident with it.

Said Clarke: “It hits it straight most of the time, which is good.”

*

Last weekend, someone marked three of La Costa’s greens with a substance believed to be something like salt, but the damage didn’t affect play. The 16th, 10th and 14th greens were tagged.

“It’s more visual than anything,” said Mike Shea, the PGA Tour’s senior rules official.

*

Fan: “Can I have some of your golf balls?”

Davis Love III: “Sorry, lost them all.”

*

Since Aaron Baddeley and Jesper Parnevik weren’t around, it was left up to Shingo Katayama to make a fashion statement. Katayama wore a bright orange shirt and a black hat, tied at the sides. But in the end, Katayama was blue. He had no birdies and lost to Rocco Mediate.

*

Nike scored a coup by signing Grace Park to an endorsement contract. The 23-year-old Park, who has won three times in her three-year career, had 12 top 10s last year, earned $861,943 and led the LPGA in birdies with 358.

Park will use Nike clubs, footwear, clothes, golf balls, glove and a logo bag.

*

Now it can be told: Nick Price used Nike irons last week at Riviera, where he tied for third at the Nissan Open. Price, who doesn’t have an endorsement contract with Nike, covered the swooshes on the irons with metal tape.

*

Jack Nicklaus and his four sons -- Jack II, Steve, Gary and Michael -- are all going to play in a Nationwide Tour event at Greenville, S.C. It’s the first time that Nicklaus has played with all four sons in the same tournament.

*

Terry Jastrow, guru of televised golf special events, has cooked up another one that pits an amateur against John Daly and a senior amateur against Lee Trevino, with $100,000 to the winners and $50,000 to the losers. People vs. the Pros will be staged at Lake Las Vegas and shown live on the Golf Channel on June 2.