It Would Figure to Be a One-Sided Experience

In the U.S. Figure Skating Championships, men’s winner Michael Weiss completed only five clean triples. Women’s winner Michelle Kwan completed six.

“So the challenge is clear,” wrote John Powers in the Boston Globe. “Kwan can do something the Albrights and the Flemings and Yamaguchis never did. She can go to Atlanta next year and try for the daily double -- the men’s and women’s titles.”

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Trivia time: When was the Super Bowl last played in San Diego?

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Al Davis too: Nick Canepa, San Diego Union-Tribune columnist, is wasting no time warning his city’s citizens of the impending Super Bowl invasion:

“And be afraid, San Diego. The Raiders are coming to the Super Bowl. That means their fans are coming too. For the second time in two months. And for a longer period of time. Tattoo parlors rejoice. Police remorse. Have you heard of martial law?”

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He should know: Larry Ellison, who spent $85 million of his fortune on a futile attempt to win the America’s Cup with Oracle, gave San Francisco writer Jim Coyle the perfect description of the crew of the Swiss challenger, Alinghi, which beat his yacht:

“They are like a fine Swiss watch with some Kiwi parts,” Ellison said, referring to the many New Zealanders on the Swiss team.

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Is that cricket? The Pakistan Cricket Board has agreed to pay more than 5 million rupees -- $86,000 -- to each member of the 15-player squad if the team wins the World Cup next month in South Africa.

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They still won: The 14 penalties assessed the Oakland Raiders against the Tennessee Titans didn’t go unnoticed by Terence Moore of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

“By the end, the officials had thrown so many flags that they almost needed surgery for their rotator cuffs,” he wrote.

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Everlasting: How long can the Harlem Globetrotters go on?

“As long as there are kids, arenas and people who want to laugh,” says Mannie Jackson, who owns the team.

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Just asking: Bobble-head dolls of the four-time Indianapolis 500 winners were recently marketed, after which Doug Jacobsme commented in Autoweek: “Why are the heads of Al Unser and Rick Mears so oversized, while A.J. Foyt’s seems to be to scale?”

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Bad deal: Who is the least cost-effective player in the NBA? Rick Bonnell of the Charlotte Observer nominates Vin Baker of the Boston Celtics.

“The Celtics traded for a contract that will pay Baker $56 million over the next four years,” writes Bonnell. “And so far Baker can’t even crack the starting lineup in Boston.”

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Trivia answer: 1998, when the Denver Broncos defeated the Green Bay Packers, 31-24.

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And finally: Dru Joyce II, coach of high school basketball phenom LeBron James, doesn’t understand why all the fuss because James’ mother, Gloria, gave him a $100,000 Hummer for his 18th birthday.

“Here we are, about to go to war, about to send a lot of young men to where they will lose their lives, and we’re focusing on his birthday gift,” Joyce told the Akron Beacon Journal. “It’s amazing.”

-- Shav Glick