There Are No Mulligans in This Profession

Writers at big-city newspapers aren’t the only ones fabricating stories these days.

The sports editor of the Roswell (N.M.) Daily Record has been fired for fabricating part of a story about a local golf tournament in which he quoted a fictional character from the movie “Caddyshack.”

The story contained three fictitious paragraphs referring to a Carl Spangler who claimed to work at the course. In “Caddyshack,” Bill Murray played a course worker named Carl Spackler.

Gregory M. Jones, 24, said he was shocked by his firing.

“It was tongue-in-cheek,” he told Associated Press. “I was trying to be light and breezy. I was trying to put out a story that people might like to read. It was sports.”

Yeah, only sports. Oh, and that stuff about Karl Malone and Gary Payton joining the Lakers? We were only trying to publish a story people might like to read.

Trivia time: Which golfer won the British Open three times, finished second seven times and was never lower than 12th in an 18-year span?

High logic: Portland point guard Damon Stoudamire is arrested after allegedly trying to pass through an airport metal detector with almost 1 1/2 ounces of marijuana wrapped in aluminum foil.

Let’s see, trying to hide drugs from metal detector ... I’ve got it! I’ll wrap it in thin sheets of metal.

Two-faced: Earlier this week, after the New York Yankees earned a split of a four-game series with the rival Boston Red Sox, Yankee owner George Steinbrenner did yet another about-face and praised Manager Joe Torre.

“For us to be where we are, Joe has done a masterful job when you consider the injuries we’ve had,” Steinbrenner said.

About earlier criticism of Torre, Steinbrenner said: “There were times when I was disappointed. I tend to get very impatient about losing.”

A brief count: Montreal Expo shortstop Orlando Cabrera figured how to keep track of time during his team’s recent 25-day trip:

“Before we left Montreal, I went out and bought 25 pairs of underwear. And I knew when I got down to the last pair, it would be time to go home.”

FYI: The Canadian Women’s Open will be the first LPGA tournament to be shown live on the Internet. The tournament, which won’t be shown on television in the U.S., will be available at www.lpga.com and www.realone.com/sports today and Sunday.

Star power: Carmelo Anthony, the Denver Nuggets’ top draft pick, is catching on to this NBA luminary gig quickly.

The Baltimore native was supposed to throw out the first pitch at an Oriole-Yankee game at Camden Yards on July 1 but arrived too late. After asking Oriole officials why they didn’t just hold up the game for him, he suggested that he could throw out the first pitch before the seventh inning.

No thanks, they said.

Trivia answer: Jack Nicklaus.

And finally: Houston Rocket owner Les Alexander, to the Houston Chronicle, on his search for a new coach: “My priority, after my family and dog, is the Rockets.”