A Curious Intermission Statement by League

Anyone seen my league?

It was here a minute ago, but then it knocked off for a five-day vacation. It’s supposed to start up again Wednesday, but by then, the question may not be so much, “Who’s better, Spurs or Nets?” but, “You guys are back again?”

Of course, in recent seasons, the championship was effectively determined by now. Without a comeback by the Little East, this spring could be even less dramatic, with the champion having been effectively determined in the second-round series between the Lakers and San Antonio.

Why did the league and its new broadcast partner, ABC, decide that what they needed now was an interlude?

An NBA official says it was the league’s idea to announce a schedule in advance, which helps promotion and logistics. Of course, all it had to give up was the momentum flowing from six weeks of postseason play, however flawed.

Or, where did all the marquee players go, long time passing?

In the second round, the league lost Shaquille O’Neal and Kobe Bryant when the Lakers succumbed to the Spurs, and Chris Webber got hurt, enabling the Dallas Mavericks to scramble past the Sacramento Kings.

Then, just as the quick-draw Mavericks began to make a fight of the West finals, they lost Dirk Nowitzki, even if Spur Coach Gregg Popovich thought it was another trick by his opposite number, Don Nelson, and Nowitzki would be back momentarily.

You might think Popovich is paranoid. Actually, he worked for Nellie, remains close to him and knows that taking him at his word is like expecting a snake to walk a straight line.

In Nelson’s situation, losing Nowitzki and the series Through No Fault of Our Own may actually have been the smart way to go anyway. No one ever called Nellie dumb, although they’ve called him just about everything else.

Owner Mark Cuban dangled Nelson all season while grooming journeyman Avery Johnson to take over. Not that this is any smarter than most of Cuban’s loudly trumpeted ideas; Johnson may speak a mile a minute and believe every word, but he has never coached and would be replacing one of the giants.

The real collision is yet to come between Nelson, who built this entertaining team and even crashed the Western elite with it, and Cuban, who thinks he’s the one responsible for the Mavericks’ renaissance. For now, Cuban seems to know he has to take Nelson back and the program looks safe.

Now for the Nets and Spurs, however briefly....

For its part, ABC, which surely had a vote on the new schedule, couldn’t have minded getting away from the overlap with its NHL finals, a real ratings dog. Of course, as this season’s shakedown cruise showed, ABC and its little brother, ESPN, didn’t know their elbow from their backside when it came to the NBA.

ABC is long past its cutting-edge House-That-Roone-Arledge-Built days. It is now more an adjunct of ESPN in sports production than the other way around, and assembling an NBA announcing team from scratch would have been a challenge for anyone.

Viewers used to Marv Albert, who’s as much identified with the NBA as Chick Hearn was with the Lakers, found the newcomers foreign, uninformed or both. Play-by-play man Brad Nessler told USA Today’s Rudy Martzke that after this season, he can sympathize with Funny Cide, a gelding.

Going for experience -- but not too far -- ABC-ESPN raided the old NBC staff for Bill Walton, but not Walton’s partner Steve Jones, who used to keep the flying redhead grounded, at least a little.

Instead, they paired Walton with younger (extremely important demographic for ESPN), edgier Tom Tolbert, a wit in his own right, if not ideal in this situation, in which Walton is whimsical and Tolbert seems to think Walton is the joke.

No one, of course, compares to Turner’s Charles Barkley, who continues to dominate, showing up, running his mouth and getting everyone upset. Presto, it’s a Turner dream: The fans wave anti-Charles placards and it’s all about us again!

Barkley can do this stuff in his sleep. He infuriated Maverick fans by predicting they’d soon be fishing, resulting in “We Don’t Fish” T-shirts. He called San Antonio “Podunk” and even seemed to insult the local women, noting that the fat lady was about to sing and pointing out the presence of a few in SBC Arena.

Just why anyone worries what someone from Leeds, Ala., who’s as big as the Hindenburg, thinks about their size or level of sophistication is beyond me, but they do.

The Spur-Net matchup could actually turn out OK, compared to the last four years of low-rated West walkovers. The Nets aren’t bad, even if they are on the small side, and the Spurs have certainly shown they’re not a great team yet.

On a 10-game winning streak, the Nets are presented by hopeful league officials as a team of destiny. Of course, they were supposed to be a team of destiny last spring too, and the Lakers stepped on them like bugs.

Kenyon Martin, who started to blossom last spring, has kept coming, averaging 21 points and nine rebounds this postseason. On the other hand, at 6-8 3/4, he’s your basic East power forward who’d be undersized in the West. This week he gets to deal with a West-size power forward, 6-11 Tim Duncan.

The brash Martin can guard players his own size, leading him to wonder why he has never made the all-defensive team after his many (three) seasons in this league.

If he and his teammates want to prove themselves, they’ve come to the right place, assuming, of course, after 10 days off, they still remember how to play the game.

Faces and Figures

In a stunner, the Pistons’ nice-guy general manager, Joe Dumars, suddenly pulled the rug out from under Coach Rick Carlisle, who took over a 32-50 team two years ago, was coach of the year as a rookie and finished No. 4 in the balloting this season as they advanced to the East finals. The Pistons say they want Larry Brown, who was already trying to choose between the Houston Rockets and Cleveland Cavaliers.... Not that the situation is fluid, but with the Washington Wizards officially terminating Doug Collins, who came with Michael Jordan, that makes nine teams (Detroit, Washington, Houston, Cleveland, Philadelphia, New Orleans, Atlanta, Toronto and the Clippers) looking for coaches, the most ever.

The Golden State Warriors’ Gilbert Arenas looks gone. The team can pay him only $4.7 million next season and his agent, Dan Fegan, says Arenas has decided he wants to cash in now. “If you’re asking whether a starting number of $7 million is enough to sign Gilbert Arenas, the answer is unequivocally no, it’s not,” Fegan told the Denver Post, adding: “Regarding Denver as a possible destination for Gilbert Arenas, I’ve got a lot of confidence in [General Manager] Kiki Vandeweghe’s ability to build a team.” ... The top three picks in the draft look set in cement, with LeBron James going to Cleveland, Detroit taking Darko Milicic (they not only brought him in last week but made him available to the local media) and Denver selecting Carmelo Anthony. After that, everyone wants to trade.... No. 4 Toronto is leaning toward reedy Chris Bosh but isn’t blown away. No. 5 Miami is shopping its pick. Said Coach Pat Riley, who’s already tired of rebuilding: “Last year one of the best moves in the whole draft was when New York got Antonio McDyess” in a trade with Denver, which then took Nene Hilario with the Knicks’ No. 7 pick. Since McDyess then suffered a knee injury, didn’t play last season, recently underwent additional surgery and won’t be ready for the start of next season, you might infer Riley really wants to trade the pick.... Meanwhile 7-foot Chris Kaman, projected for the top 10, is said to have worked out poorly, amid suggestions he’s flaky.

If the Lakers want Gary Payton as much as he wants them, the Milwaukee Bucks understand they won’t be a factor, although they could offer the 34-year-old Payton $13 million compared to the Lakers’ $4.7 million. “I think Gary has two really good years left in him,” Coach George Karl said. “With his athleticism, his body has two years of playing 35 minutes a game. After that, I don’t know.” In other words, it was fun while it lasted, all three months you were here.... Meanwhile, ESPN.com reported the Bucks, drafting No. 7, will work out point guards Kirk Hinrich, Luke Ridnour, Marcus Moore and Reece Gaines together to see which they want. The short man out is T.J. Ford, the 5-10 Texas point guard who has been projected as a top-10 pick.... Newspapers in Charlotte, where the new expansion team keeps wooing Jordan, and Milwaukee reported Jordan is trying to put together a group to buy the Bucks, who aren’t far from his home in the Chicago suburbs. Suggestion for the Bucks: Whatever happens, don’t let him make another comeback!