Cold Spell Broken, Maybe the Angels Can Heat Up

So I’m reading in The Times on Monday morning: “For the Angels, the pennant race starts tonight,” and I knew that couldn’t be true even before they went out and fell flat to Philadelphia.

Now I admire the initiative our clairvoyant Angel beat writer displayed in declaring the start of the pennant race on June 9, but I’m afraid he was off by a day.

You see the Ducks were still playing their little hearts out in New Jersey on Monday night in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals, and you can imagine what an emotional tug that was on their neighbors in Edison Field who were playing just one of 162 games, so I wasn’t surprised when the distracted Angels failed to touch home plate all evening. Talk about sympathy pains: They lost, 3-0, just like the Ducks.

That brings us to Tuesday night, though, and the simple fact is that the quicker everyone forgets the Mighty Ducks, the better off our defending World Series champions are going to be. That’s why I made the rounds in the clubhouse, reminding the guys now the Ducks are nothing more than NHL road kill.

“They’re done, stick a fork in the fowls,” I told Darin Erstad. “Look at my smiley face -- I stopped thinking of the Ducks long ago.”

I thought Erstad might start crying. “Didn’t sleep much last night,” he admitted, and sometimes it’s tough to tell with people who have been raised in North Dakota if they’re always depressed or perpetually dull. “I’ll be all right. I’ll be ready to go tonight.” What a relief to learn he’s just dull.

Troy Percival was sitting in a chair nearby watching TV. I knew he was probably waiting for Oprah to come on, but his unshaven face made you wonder if he had been there all night, unable to move after the Ducks’ no-show against the Devils. “It was a heck of a run,” he kept mumbling. “They did great ... “

Great, now we’ve got the Angels’ closer thinking in terms of moral victories. I urged Percival to snap out of it, eat a duck if necessary, and start making up some of those 11 games they find themselves behind Seattle.

“Am I wrong to be worried right now?” I asked him.

“You have to care how we do before you can get worried,” Percival said, and I felt better knowing how sharp he can be.

I also tried chatting with Jarrod Washburn, but he was more interested in the rally monkey than the dead ducks. “They ought to just outright fire him,” Washburn grumbled, and as long as I’ve known Washburn he has had this fixation about the monkey, and to tell you the truth, I’m not sure I’d want him visiting my local zoo.

“He’s trying to bite me back,” he said, and I said something like, “sure he is, Jarrod, sure he is,” and got out of there as quickly as I could.

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I WASN’T surprised to find Manager Mike Scioscia sitting in the dugout all by himself. Would you want to be in the same clubhouse as Washburn?

“I guess it [pennant race] starts tonight,” Scioscia said. I knew it -- I just knew it. Our Angels’ beat writer was a day off: The pennant race starts June 10 for the Angels and here I am for it.

“It’s all about playing consistent baseball now,” Scioscia said, and to test him I asked if he’d be attending the Dead Ducks’ swan song today in front of the Pond.

“I’ve got to get the kids to school. I’ll have to see,” he said. “If I’m not there, I’ll certainly be there in spirit.” Uh-oh. Nothing worse than lingering Ducks’ fever.

That’s why the Dodgers have a better record than the Angels. The Dodgers didn’t have to worry how the Kings fared in the playoffs this season. A year ago, the Ducks didn’t make the playoffs, and the Angels won the World Series.

I was a little disheartened before returning to the Angel clubhouse. “I’ve never been to a hockey game in my life,” said James Haskins, which explains why the security guard at the door of the clubhouse is one of the most consistent, even-keel security guards you’ll ever meet. Untainted by hockey.

Here’s a man who has never suffered through three hours of ice skating wondering if all that time has been wasted on a scoreless tie. He still thinks you catch the blue line downtown. When he pulls on a sweater, it’s a real sweater. The pennant race began March 30 for James Haskins when the Angels began the season, and every day since he has shown up to do his very best -- never once thinking of the Ducks.

James Haskins, Mr. Consistency, should be the Angels’ rally model, and a reminder to anyone else sneaking out of work to get stuck in traffic trying to get to the Pond to cheer for the NHL runner-ups today, it really would be a wonderful life never having been bothered by hockey.

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ANNIKA SORENSTAM and Jean-Sebastien Giguere have something in common -- both crying after recent losses. I don’t understand it. The Dodgers lose all the time and they don’t cry.

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IT MAKES you wonder how the Clippers are going to top the hiring of Tim Floyd, and you know they’ll try. In Floyd, New Orleans is getting a coach with a Clipper-like .205 winning percentage (49-190). Elgin Baylor has his work cut out for himself.

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YOU KNOW what would be a real bummer -- finding out that all this time the Dodgers have been using corked bats.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in a letter from Art Freas:

“Enclosed is $1 to the Slip Cover Fund. I think Kevin Brown and Shawn Green though, should pay for the whole wedding. Tell them it’s deductible.”

Right now I’d settle for Brown giving one of his plane rides to the couple to elope to Las Vegas. It’d be a real stretch, but he could be best man, too.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com.