Time to Blow the Whistle on a Boring Tournament

You probably read about a heckler shouting at Vijay Singh, “Annika would have made that,” as Singh approached the 14th hole in the U.S. Open on Friday.

Singh’s playing partner, Rocco Mediate, immediately labeled the man an “idiot,” I presume because by now everyone knows Annika Sorenstam could have never made that shot.

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EVERYONE IS entitled to his or her opinion, of course, unless you’re at a golf course and talking too loudly. Singh met with an Associated Press reporter on a golf course a few weeks back, and speaking of Sorenstam’s invitation to play in the PGA Colonial, he said, “I hope she misses the cut.”

Since he didn’t shout it directly at Sorenstam, I guess technically he can’t be called a heckler and be thrown off the course, but after the AP story went national, he was called just about everything else.

The U.S. Open heckler, meanwhile, was escorted off the grounds at Olympia Fields Country Club because he broke silence. He did this while the three golfers were walking onto the green. I’m guessing they would have sentenced him to a week of watching the LPGA in silence had he been caught saying something while one of them was swinging a club.

Someone whistled during Tiger Woods’ downswing Saturday and Woods gave the gallery the same dirty look he had given his caddie after blaming him for the poor tee shot that derailed his bid to win the Masters.

I kept waiting for NBC to report the whistling culprit had been found and hung, or maybe tied to the railroad tracks running alongside the first fairway. When Woods made a par-saving putt, I believe it was Johnny Miller who snapped, “In your face, whistler,” as if he was really mad at the unknown guy or gal.

Woods, meanwhile, never really recovered from the whistle and disappeared from contention, unable to recover over the next 17 holes. Too bad Phil Mickelson didn’t think to put a whistle in his golf bag years ago; no telling how many majors he might have won by now.

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A YEAR ago the gallery hooted and hollered all the way through the U.S. Open at Bethpage Black, and it was considered good fun, because it was in New York and if they ejected every loudmouth, there wouldn’t have been anyone left to clap politely for the stiff dullards who play the game.

The fact they removed only one heckler so far in Chicago, the city that has someone running onto the baseball fields to beat up some coach or umpire seemingly in every game, demonstrates just how intimidating a golf course can be when the pros are allowed to demand silence.

Now I don’t know how many of you are planning to tune in today to watch Jim Furyk fight it out with some guy named Stephen Leaney, but I believe the TV audience would be huge if the gallery was allowed to yell during the players’ swings: “Here comes Tiger.”

In fact I think it would be great if kids everywhere grew up saying, “Hey golfer, golfer, golfer ... swing!”

Tiger trails by 11 strokes and has no shot today if fans remain quiet. But I’d sure like his chances if the U.S. Open became a baseball game, basketball contest, or a normal sporting event where gifted athletes have to concentrate and perform under the most distracting circumstances.

I know the whistler got Tiger, but if he knew what was coming and everyone was yelling “choker” at Furyk and Leaney, I believe both of them would pull a Mickelson. Just think how much fun it would be to watch Colin Montgomerie play under such conditions.

Now there’s probably nothing harder than hitting an 80-mph moving baseball -- even if Andy Ashby is throwing it -- and yet we’ve all accepted the ridiculous notion that golfers need total silence to hit a stationary ball.

I’d suggest to you that if the paying customers (and selected media) were allowed to make a ruckus, we’d see some personality and emotion in the pro golfers, who right now appear dead in most cases.

Singh, the big baby, went into hiding for the Colonial, saying he had to spend time with his wife because obviously he didn’t want to subject himself to the abuse that would have come had he played in the same tournament with Sorenstam. (How many men really want to spend time with their wives ... I would imagine I’m the exception.)

Do you think New York fans would’ve let Singh off the hook this week?

Most of these guys would collapse under such scrutiny, and next to winning, the thing most fans enjoy more than anything else is a good collapse. That’s what made watching Greg Norman so enjoyable. (We have a whole fan base that watches auto racing waiting for a good car crash.)

Right now you take Tiger off the leaderboard, and there’s no compelling reason to watch. Furyk or Leaney? Do you really care?

To me, it’s worth shouting about, however, because it’s Father’s Day, my day to claim the couch to watch the final round of the U.S. Open, and for excitement I might have to switch over to the Dodger game.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Eddie Kim:

“You’re blowin’ a lot of smoke with this piece of ‘yellow journalism’ [on the Gauntlet Trophy]. USC would’ve whipped an All-Star team of the best players from the Buckeyes and Hurricanes. I just wish you had written why the trophy looks so darn good at UCLA but so drab in Heritage Hall. You didn’t explain. One last thing, you’re a weakling just sitting there and taking your daughter’s engagement to the Grocery Store Bagger. A true man would’ve had a sit-down with them and set things straight ... allowing her to marry into financial insecurity is abominable.”

I would imagine when she remarries it will be to a USC grad.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com.