The Lady Was Driving Erratically, but She Was Able to Set the Cop Straight

A sheriff’s deputy approached a woman driver who had been weaving on an Agoura Hills roadway and the next thing he knew, she was physically assaulting him. As the officer was subduing her, he radioed for assistance, saying he was “on Hillrise, east of Kanan.”

The dispatcher couldn’t figure out where that was, since Hillrise Drive doesn’t run east of Kanan Road. The officer repeated the location. More puzzlement.

Finally, said the Star News, a sheriff’s publication, the dispatcher could “hear the arrestee yelling just as loudly as the deputy, ‘We’re west of Kanan.’ ”

Always refreshing to hear stories of citizen involvement.

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Unclear on the concept? I wonder if it was the driver who owned a handicapped parking placard in the shot snapped in Iowa by Gary Null of Valencia (see photo).

And I was reminded of the story of the hearse driver who was ticketed on the San Diego Freeway for whizzing along in the carpool lane with a corpse as his only passenger. (Best kind of back-seat driver there is, though.)

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Turning to car bodies: In Mobile, Ala., Paulie Jenkins spotted an intimidating no-parking sign (see photo).

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Such a deal: Bill Pasley of Mission Viejo noticed an ad placed by a guy who wasn’t offering any bargains, but, then again, maybe his ex-wife’s attorney didn’t leave him with much (see accompanying).

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Talk about getting high: Jim and Joan Schlegel of Long Beach said of another sale item, “A couple of drinks and then you think you’re an acrobat or gymnast” (see accompanying).

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Handling the panhandlers: “Many years back, I was on jury duty at the L.A. County Courthouse,” said Dennis Petticoffer of Costa Mesa. “To avoid being confronted by those ubiquitous ‘sidewalk supplicants,’ I devised what I thought was the perfect antidote. I would preempt my solicitor by asking him for money first.

“At a streetlight, I spotted my first victim. No sooner did he approach than I quickly turned toward him, held out my hand and asked, ‘Hey, buddy, can you give me a quarter?’ He stared in stunned silence, looked me up and down, then reached into his pocket and handed me a dime.

“ ‘That’s all I’ve got,’ ” he said.

“He went his way and I went mine, feeling like two cents.”

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Don’t forget to adjust your calendars: A reader named Doris says her window-washer had to postpone his visit because he’s unexpectedly booked up. “The Fourth of July is earlier this year,” he explained.

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miscelLAny: The Anaheim Angels won the World Series last year, but they’re having a mediocre season in 2003. And sportscaster Bret Lewis of KFWB-AM (980) thinks he knows what ails them: “The Rally Monkeypox.”

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; or by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.