They Could Be Starring in ‘Coaches Gone Wild’
Second Thoughts had to get away, find a place lower than Saddam’s bunker, duck out on Duke and even Duquesne.
The last thing I wanted to read about on respite was another college coach entering a Nitwit protection program.
Thoughts went to see a movie, “Real Cancun,” thinking it was a travelogue that might some day lead to a timeshare. In fact, “Real Cancun” chronicles college kids lounging by a cesspool of sex and sun on the 200-proof prowl during spring break.
The real shocker was seeing what I could have sworn was Iowa State basketball Coach Larry Eustachy kissing a Missouri coed after a wet T-shirt contest.
In another scene, I thought I spotted first-year Alabama football Coach Mike Price sitting in a Cantina handing $20 bills to a stripper named “Destiny.”
Or, maybe I’m just confusing my spring break stories.
News: Eustachy and Price embroiled in collegiate coaching scandals.
Second thought: You knew Eustachy was in deep the second he reasoned copping a public plea of alcoholism was his best defense strategy.
Eustachy’s job is on thin ice while Price is going, going, gone.
The Price story boggles the mind. The man hadn’t coached a game at pressure-cooker Alabama and he gets caught crimson-handed in Pensacola? Shouldn’t you beat Auburn once before allowing an exotic dancer’s food charges to show up on your hotel bill?
We read Price’s problems began at a pro-am golf tournament in Florida.
Our research department is combing the clips to see if Price ever said landing the Alabama job was his “destiny.”
While Price had no idea what he was getting into leaving Washington State for Alabama, I thought he’d make it to his first fall practice.
Alabama is the most over-the-top job in college football, as far removed from Pullman as Pluto.
Transgressions that might have taken carbon dating analysis to uncover at sleepy Washington State are front-page news at Alabama, with its thousands of Internet football minions acting like a secret police throughout the South.
Price should have known this -- or had someone explain it to him.
Still, Price and Eustachy were victims of unfortunate timing.
In a political vacuum, their foibles might not have been job-threatening. Neither, as we know, broke any laws.
Yet, their problems came to light at a time when college sports is reeling from upper-echelon screw-ups at Fresno State, St. Bonaventure and Georgia.
College presidents, with plenty of face-saving to do on the ethical front, are in no mood to hand out free passes these days.
Of course, Price needed to know why he was being hired in the first place. Alabama was looking to restore order after two wrenching coaching changes since 1996, a scandal involving Mike DuBose and a not-his-wife secretary, subsequent NCAA probation and a two-year bowl ban. One charge in the 2002 NCAA infractions report on Alabama involved strippers being provided at recruiting parties.
In this context, Alabama President Robert Witt felt he would have had no credibility in giving Price his “second chance” even as his decision cripples the Crimson Tide’s football chances this season.
Sometimes, the price you pay is a real load.
News: Cuba to bid for 2012 Summer Olympic Games.
Second thought: In a bang-bang finish, Cuba beat Iraq to the dictatorship-led punch after the Iraqi Olympic chief inexplicably failed to meet the application deadline.
Cuba still has some kinks to work out but says 2012 could be the best Olympics since Berlin in 1936.
Olympic Mascot: “Pedro, the Smurf-like imprisoned dissident.”
Olympic Motto: “Stop or We’ll Shoot!”
Opening Ceremony: “Tribute to Stalin.”
Closing Ceremony: “Your Visa Has Expired!”
Bud Greenspan Documentary: “Thirteen Days in October.”
Demonstration Sport: Havana to Miami Open Ocean Swim (Competition closed to Cubans).
News: UCLA Athletic Director Dan Guerrero ranks No. 28 on Sports Illustrated’s list of 101 most influential minorities in sports.
Second thought: SI insiders say Guerrero would have cracked the top 20 had he fired only one more coach since his arrival.
I personally thought 86 would have been the more appropriate rating.
USC Athletic Director Mike Garrett, who canned neither his football nor basketball coach, checks in at No. 49 on the SI list. Look for Garrett to clean house next year in an effort to pass Guerrero in the standings.
News: Lawmakers introduce bill to honor Jackie Robinson with the Congressional Gold Medal for contributions to civil rights and sports.
Second thought: I’m not sure what the rush is. Robinson broke baseball’s color barrier in 1947 and has been deceased only since 1972. Shouldn’t we mull this over another 30 years to more accurately assess Robinson’s contributions to civil rights and sports?
News: Son of Florida State football Coach Bobby Bowden pleads guilty to swindling millions from investors -- including his father.
Second thought: In his autobiography “The Bowden Way,” Bobby writes, “I’ve had many opportunities to get involved in business deals. Two of those deals created real problems for me. In both cases, the person who came to me with the deal turned out to be a person of questionable character.”
The coach can add a “third” questionable character to his list, but don’t look for an addendum in the reprint.
Bowden co-wrote the book with his son, Steve.
