This time, they’re in on the joke

Who better able to joke about the lives of former child stars than real-life former child stars?

That’s the premise of one of the funniest scenes in the new David Spade comedy, “Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star,” which opens Friday. Five ex-child stars -- Barry Williams from “The Brady Bunch”; Danny Bonaduce of “The Partridge Family”; Dustin Diamond, late of “Saved from the Bell”; Leif Garrett, the former teeny-bopper pop star; and Corey Feldman, star of “The Goonies” and “The Lost Boys” -- portray the poker-playing buddies of Spade’s Dickie Roberts, a down-on-his-luck former TV superstar who now works as a valet parking attendant at a Beverly Hills eatery.

The quintet pokes good-natured fun at their former child stardom, especially Williams, who keeps trying to bet items from “The Brady Bunch,” including the Tiki figurine and Marcia’s braces, during the poker game. And in person, the five continue to have fun with one another. The group recently got together to chat about their former and present lives, as well as working on the movie.

Sitting around a table at a Los Angeles hotel, each actor is distinctly different: Garrett, 41, is quiet; Bonaduce, 44, is funny and opinionated; Feldman, 31, tends to dominate the proceedings and loves to good-naturedly argue with Bonaduce; Williams, 48, is down-to-earth; and Diamond, 26, is the baby of the group and isn’t shy about letting the rest know they are older. “You know, I didn’t know until recently you were in ‘Gremlins,’ ” Diamond tells Feldman. “I was like a sperm when ‘Gremlins’ came out!”

Question: So how did you all get involved with “Dickie Roberts”?

Bonaduce: The second I heard about this movie, I was just sitting by the phone. They can’t do it without me and him [pointing to Williams]. You can’t do this child star thing without a Brady and a Partridge. It’s like when they say an ex-child star has been arrested on “Entertainment Tonight,” I wait for them to mention me by name. There are certain things that are just a given.

Feldman: I was at my manager’s office and we were looking through this year’s newest projects and we said, of all the Academy Award-winning vehicles that are on your plate now, which one should we really hone in on? Just for pure character reasons, I felt this would be the one that would push it over the edge.

Bonaduce: When does the bull in that story start? With “I actually have a manager” or “I have projects”?

Diamond: I just liked the fact that it was well-written and it made everyone come off in a good light and didn’t tear anybody apart. When I first heard about this, I didn’t know if I wanted to do it or not because I wasn’t sure it was going to be constant poking and ribbing. I have never been arrested or had drug problems. I never stopped working, but I went into stand-up comedy -- it’s not television. So some people said what happened to him? He fell off the face of the Earth. I had to talk [to the producer]. I finally got to see the script. Scripts always read different than they play as far as funny, but there was nothing negative.

Q: You felt the same way, Leif?

Garrett: Absolutely. I didn’t want it to be just shredded. But you should be able to poke a certain amount of fun at yourself, anyway. It’s not mean-spirited at all. We gave the character of Dickie Roberts legitimacy.

Diamond: But [our roles] are not that big in the movie, though.

Bonaduce: There’s no little part, only little actors. They couldn’t pull this movie off without us.

Q: If you had to do it all over again, would you go into acting as a child?

Garrett: I would actually do it again. It is such a rare thing to be able to do it. Obviously, you wish you had the information you had now, but I’d do it again.

Bonaduce: People think that being a child star is carcinogenic. They think it’s being an ex-child star that leads you to rehab. Well, when I was in rehab I was the only ex-child star, but there were nine dentists! We have become a cautionary tale.

Feldman: It’s almost like being an urban legend.

Williams: Being in the limelight is not a normal upbringing. It’s one of the things that bond us. We all have it in common. I do think that you trade a part of your childhood in once you become a professional and it shifts the dynamics for the family and it certainly shifts all the dynamics to whomever has all the attention. It’s not for everyone. I think it has a lot to do with parenting and family. Often the wrong personalties and the wrong people are attracted to the business in the first place. The more successful they become, the worse off they are because it feeds their neurosis.

Feldman: I did an acting lecture in Northern California [recently] for people who were trying to get their kids into acting. I said the bottom line is if you can’t handle the moral obligation and responsibility of being a parent and knowing when to say no -- if you can’t handle that in regular life, then you certainly wouldn’t be able to handle it. Here is a $100,000 contract and your kid has to do this show for the next two years and you have to decide if my kid is going to get the proper education and if I can handle the responsibility of having that much money.

Bonaduce: You are dating yourself, and you were better off than I was. I made $600 a week on the No. 1 show in the country. Nowadays, they say, “Here is your $100,000 per week for the next two years.” The kid goes psychotic, but they might go psychotic [even if they don’t act]. So why not go psychotic for $5 million?

Garrett: I made a point of stepping away from it for a while, from all the hoopla because the glare was too bright. It was too much. You want to push it away a little bit.

Bonaduce: Not me. I couldn’t get a job to save my life. I wanted it more than anything. I had a character named Speedy. I couldn’t afford to have an agent. And you couldn’t submit your own pictures, so I used to put on a black wig even with freckles, and a hat and I’d keep my head down and put on this delivery uniform that said “Speedy” and go into a casting director’s office. I didn’t step away from it; it stepped away from me.

Q: Do you feel that no matter what you do you’ll always be described first and foremost as an ex-child actor?

Feldman: I have done 50 films since I was a kid. I did 20 when I was a kid and 50 since. The point I am making is, even if I did 100 movies and I got an Oscar, I would be at the Academy Awards and they would say, “Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the Academy Award for best actor is former child actor Corey Feldman.” That is a label that will stick with each and every one of us. People go, “Oh my gosh, this guy is 18 or 19 and his career is over with. He’s a has-been.” But let’s back up a bit. Most people don’t start their careers until they are 18 or 19. So people who are 40 years old are really hitting their peak. I am far from 40 -- when I hit 40, I’ll let you know what I have done.

Q: Former child star Gary Coleman is running for governor of California. Do any of you harbor gubernatorial aspirations?

Garrett: No. Arnold [Schwarzenegger] has already got Rob Lowe as an advisor.

Williams: I was invited to do it. A radio station wanted to pay the fees and set me up. The irony is the radio station was in Phoenix.

Feldman: I would like to get into political office one day. I think when I am, like, Barry Williams’ age, I’d like to go for it.

Bonaduce: I take Arnold’s candidacy pretty seriously. It’s all a freak show and it looks like he’s the head of the freak brigade.