Flying Carp Sounds Like a Reel Big Fish Story

Used to be the worst thing that could happen to you while fishing was a hook in the ear or a bout with seasickness.

But fishermen on Missouri’s rivers now have to watch out that they don’t get knocked senseless by giant carp jumping into boats.

One state fisheries biologist was seriously injured when hit in the head by a high-flying fish and another lost a tooth.

Two species of non-native carp -- brought to private fish hatcheries from Asia to eat excess algae -- escaped during floods in 1993, 1995 and 2002.

“The sound of a propeller underwater makes these fish go crazy,” said Brian Todd, of the Missouri Department of Conservation. “The fish don’t jump if you’re sitting there without the motor on, but the higher RPMs, the greater the noise, the higher these fish jump.”

Oh, and if you duck in time, they are “safe to eat.”

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Trivia time: Who is the oldest player in the NFL and how old is he?

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Culture clash: Jerry Greene, of the Orlando Sentinel, admitted he was pretty confused about what was going on at the World University Games:

“North Korea threatens to pull out of the World Games being played in South Korea because of a clash between human-rights activists and North Korean sports reporters. It seems the reporters attacked the activists, so I guess things work a little differently over there.

“The only thing I attack on assignment is the media buffet.”

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Fond farewells: Tyler Houston, the top pinch-hitter in baseball this season, surprisingly was cut by the Philadelphia Phillies during the weekend. Houston didn’t hold back when asked about Manager Larry Bowa before leaving town.

“He doesn’t care about his players,” Houston told the Philadelphia Inquirer. “Bo only cares about himself. You see it in the negativity and disrespect that he has for his players, the way he speaks to his players.

“He’s the first one to slam you, embarrass you, throw stuff in the dugout, throw his hands up in the air.”

Bowa’s response: “He’d better hope no manager calls me and asks about him. There’s a reason he’s with a different team every year.”

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Duds dud: A number of college football teams unveiled new uniforms last weekend, but few elicited as many negative responses as Oregon’s.

The Memphis Commercial Appeal described the new Ducks’ attire as “puke yellow covered with splotches of antifreeze green.”

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Just wondering: Has a quarterback with a 67.4 passing rating who finished 0-6 as a starter the previous season ever been on the cover of Sports Illustrated?

Kurt Warner, the guy with as much to prove as any player in the NFL.

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Trivia answer: Kansas City Chief kicker Morten Andersen, who celebrated his 43rd birthday Aug. 19.

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And finally: South Carolina Coach Lou Holtz, whose football team struggled to beat Louisiana Lafayette in its season opener Saturday, on the Gamecocks’ chances this week against No. 15 Virginia: “Comparable to the stripper that’s running for governor in California.”

-- John Weyler