One Criminal Was All Wet; the Other Was in Desperate Need of a Bath
In today’s Stupid Criminal Tricks report, the LAPD’s Thin Blue Line publication recounts the pursuit of two auto theft suspects who fled on foot in West L.A.
A pile of clothing near a Jacuzzi provided pursuers with one good clue. When the cover was lifted, a suspect was found, clad only in his white tank top, undies and white socks (why the socks?).
The second suspect, rather than go underwater, tried the under-garbage gambit in a filled dumpster. As he climbed out, the odiferous chap told an officer, “I knew you would catch me.” Then why, the Thin Blue Line commented, didn’t he choose a, uh, less messy sanctuary?
Such a deal: Today’s questionable bargains (see accompanying) include:
* A deflating symbol at a tire stand (photo by Leala Nakawatase)
* A dish of ice cream whose cost is not free of confusion (C.E. Maddy of Huntington Beach)
* And, finally, a cosmetic procedure that not only sounds as if it would entail a painful contortion of the face but doesn’t come at much of a discount (Patricia Rutledge of Santa Monica).
Lawyer joke: “Humorist at Law” is the way attorney-turned-comic Sean Carter of Chino Hills describes himself. A frequent speaker at legal functions, Carter also wrote a book, “If It Does Not Fit, Must You Acquit?: Your Humorous Guide to the Law,” and offers odd, true-life legal stories on his Lawpsided.com Web site. Examples:
* “A Nevada police officer pulled over a motorist after spotting him doing 35 mph on a motorized bar stool.”
* A Nebraska man accused of drinking in violation of a court order was found not guilty when he proved he had merely eaten burritos made with beer- and tequila-marinated meat for lunch. (Four burritos, in fact.)
* A Florida man was arrested after showing up naked in a bank lobby. Commented Carter: “I bet this bank thinks again before charging him those pesky checking fees.”
* And, finally, the noisy parties of Dennis Rodman have resulted in more than 70 visits by Newport Beach police. “As the old saying goes, ‘Show up at my house once because of a loud party, shame on me,’ ” Carter said. “ ‘Show up 70 times, somebody should go to jail.’ Well at least that should be the saying.”
MiscelLAny: After I published a photo of an Adopt-a-Highway sign on the Glendale Freeway sponsored by Atheists United, I received a thank-you note from one of the group’s members, Richard Pratt, a Vietnam vet.
Thus I was wrong on both counts when I wrote that there are no atheists in foxholes or on L.A. freeways.
Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.