Two Runs, 15 Hits? They Need Waste Management

They set up tables with nice white tablecloths and centerpieces around the field in Dodger Stadium on Monday afternoon following the home opener.

They also served liquor at the postgame party, and although I wasn’t invited for some reason, I presume the Dodgers’ brass wanted to celebrate the fact the guys had come within seven runs of beating the Padres. A job well done to start the season.

It was just a great day at Chavez Ravine with a Dodger Stadium opening-day crowd of 53,850 ignoring predictions of gloom and doom and being rewarded with two runs. In the same game.

In fact the team’s performance was so impressive, it moved Tom Lasorda to predict later that the Dodgers are going to win a game this season.

“I believe that,” Lasorda said, while grabbing my forearm to press the point home that he was actually being serious. “I believe we’re going to win a lot of games this year.”

The next win, of course, will be their first, but as Manager Jim Tracy said, he was extremely encouraged because his guys had 15 whole hits in the same game.

If I was as nasty as everyone in Dodger Land thinks, I would’ve told Tracy immediately that his team had 15 hits in a game eight times last year, and won every one of them -- so Monday’s performance should have actually been discouraging.

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THINK ABOUT it, more people came to watch this team play Monday than on any other opening day in the franchise’s history since moving to L.A. I guess everyone here understood it would be a battle for first place in the National League West, and just maybe the Dodgers’ last chance this season.

The gamesmanship with the Padres, of course, started weeks ago when their general manager, Kevin Towers, suggested that the Dodgers always fall apart because they lack character.

So what does the Dodgers’ GM, Paul DePodesta, do? He goes out and gets a character, Milton Bradley, who served jail time for evading the police and got locked out of his own team’s training camp a few days ago because the Cleveland Indians no longer wanted anything to do with him.

That’s what I admire about these new Dodgers; they will do whatever it takes to score two runs a game. (If there are any good hitters in prison, and they’re due for parole soon, this just might be the incentive they need to remain on good behavior).

Now just for your information, because I’m sure you had the same question I had when I saw that DePodesta had been quoted as saying Bradley had “got a bad rap,” I asked DePodesta whether the newspaper had cut off the end of that quote.

“Did you mean to say he’s ‘got a bad rap sheet?’ ”

DePodesta said he had been quoted accurately and that Bradley was a guy who had done lots of community service in Cleveland. Isn’t that what a judge has you do if you do things that make you visit his courtroom?

There’s no question the Dodgers have a better lineup with the guy who runs from the cops batting third, although I’m going to wonder every time one of the TV stations breaks in for a car chase whether I’m watching the Dodgers’ center fielder on the run.

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THE PADRES started Brian Lawrence, who can’t throw a pitch harder than 82 mph and who gave up more than 10 runs a game in spring training, against the Dodgers. The Dodgers were not fooled by the obvious attempt to make them feel overconfident, and exploded for a run in the bottom of the fifth inning to really cut into San Diego’s 7-0 lead and knock Lawrence from the game.

The Dodgers put a runner on every base in the sixth inning, and how often does that happen? But Shawn Green failed to deliver the big hit, and besides almost every game last year, how often can you say something like that?

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THE TALK in the Dodger clubhouse after the team had fallen into last place remained upbeat. Bradley had flied out to left field and had run hard all the way to first base. What more can you ask? Maybe “SportsCenter” will select it as the Dodger highlight of the game and show it to the folks in Cleveland.

Hideo Nomo did his part to dispel any talk that the Dodgers’ pitching staff is as strong as last year’s, and Duaner Sanchez got his chance to pitch for the Dodgers on opening day, which was a good way to let everyone know he was even on the roster. Darren Dreifort pitched an inning in relief and didn’t get hurt.

It was also the perfect “Moneyball” game. Moneyball, the story behind the Oakland Athletics’ low-payroll philosophy, developed by GM Billy Beane and DePodesta, places a big emphasis on a team’s on-base percentage and puts little stock in possessing a top-notch closer like Eric Gagne.

Well, the Dodgers had 15 hits and five walks for a great on-base percentage and had no use for a closer against the Padres. Yes sir, things are really looking up.

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THE DODGERS’ website, which is always amusing, urged fans to tune in to KFMB to listen to the Dodgers’ opener. One problem: KFMB is a San Diego station, which doesn’t even broadcast the Padres’ games. The Dodgers’ station is KFWB.

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ADRIAN BELTRE is upset he’s batting seventh instead of third. Imagine how the opposing pitcher feels.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Justin Alcott:

“The Dodgers have apparently razed the ‘Think Blue’ sign from the hills over Chavez Ravine.... My guess is that the Parking Lot Attendant and the Screaming Meanie stole it to save money in buying materials for a new house. I don’t know this for a fact, but hope you can get to the bottom of it.”

Come on, with everyone thinking red, it’s silly to ask people to think blue.*

T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com.