He’s Got a Gift for Communication
Many years ago, the adults in the family agreed not to exchange gifts on Christmas. It was getting out of hand, and because we have a big family, people were being forced to buy trucks and SUVs just to haul the plunder home.
That meant that the gifting was limited to kids and teenagers. Buying for little kids is always easy enough, as they appreciate anything that isn’t apparel. But buying for teenagers proves to be more difficult.
The first problem is that on their 13th birthday, all teenagers are required by teenage law to cease communicating with anybody except other teenagers. Their patented response is something with “OK” in it.
To bridge this communications gap, I have devised an e-mail form that I send to all the teenagers on my list. Teenagers respect the fact that I am using technology and a computer, and they like the fact that they don’t have to make eye contact or actually utter any sounds.
I simply suggest a few general categories -- computer accessories, music CDs, video games, tools, books, sporting goods -- and ask that they e-mail back a suggestion or two. I always end the message with something like, “So, hit me with the 4-1-1, Dude” to show them that I speak their language.
The responses this year were both startling and encouraging. Consider the response I got from Seth, who has always been a computer nerd who spent his whole day tinkering with his computer while listening to some rock band. I couldn’t have been more pleased when I received his e-mail with the simple lines: “Belkin 802.11g 125HSM wireless 4-port Router or Nine Inch Nails.” Wow! There is hope yet. The kid has obviously discovered woodworking, and while he is willing to settle for a “Belkin” router, whatever that is, his Uncle Bob knows that the Craftsman professional two-horsepower router is one of the best. I can throw in a set of router bits to encourage his newly discovered interest in carpentry. I’ll let somebody else get him the nine-inch nails.
Seth’s cousins are cut from the same cloth. Computers, computers, computers. So I was tickled when I got the response from Chip. Last year all he wanted to do was make his computers and all the household appliances connect without wires, but this year he wrote, “Anything that has to do with Bluetooth.” I was dumbstruck. I thought I was the only one in the family who liked ancient Norwegian history. I love that 10th century period for the neat names the kings have. Harold Bluetooth is one of my favorites. He not only unified the Viking countries, but he converted to Christianity while still remaining a bloodthirsty Viking. His father was Gorm the Old -- a terrific name for a king. Harold was eventually killed by his son, Sven “Fork Beard.” I was really tickled that Chip had developed an interest in this period.
Even more surprising was the note from Darryl. Another indoor type who you would never figure for anything outdoors. He wanted “a double-layer USB 2.0 External Burner.” Amazing! I remember my first dual external burner. I don’t know anything about the USB brand, but when I used to go camping, I had a dual external burner made by Coleman that used propane gas. Wal-Mart still has them.
The one puzzling response was from Megan, the niece who paints her fingernails black and listens to music in her darkened bedroom all day. The only word that was clear in her response was music. All the rest of it was garbled. She wrote, “Megadeth, Killswitch Engage, Stereomud, Mudvayne, Murderdolls, Dashboard Confessional, Thousandfootkrutch or Spineshank.” Clearly, something had gone crazy with her computer. I figure you can never go wrong with Glenn Miller and Benny Goodman.
Perhaps the nicest response is the one I got from Dylan, who is always thoughtful, kind and considerate. He wrote: “Dear Uncle Bob. I hate the thought of you running around, fighting the crowds, shopping for my present. It would be easier for both of us if you would just put the money in a card this year. I would promise to get something I really wanted, and I would be even more grateful for your letting me choose. I already have more Glenn Miller CDs in my collection than I ever could have wished for. -- Dylan.”
What a considerate kid.
