Make the Grade in the Real World by Being a Stickler for Punctuality

As a grad of USC, I was surprised to read in the Daily Trojan that the “15-Minute Rule” at the school is mere urban legend. I don’t mean Andy Warhol’s rule about becoming famous; I mean the rule that supposedly permitted students to cut class if the instructor was a quarter-hour or more late.

I seem to recall invoking it myself a few times, though I’m probably only imagining that I used to bring a stop-watch to class. But a USC official told the newspaper that there’s no such rule on the books, adding that if a teacher is periodically late, students can complain to the dean of the school and/or give the unpunctual pedagogue low marks in their end-of-semester evaluations.

One professor told the Daily Trojan that students not only shouldn’t leave after 15 minutes, but that teachers should be given even more leeway because they have to drive to school.

“In terms of Los Angeles, Calif., which has the worst traffic with the 405 being one of the most traveled freeways in the nation,” said the teacher, a Westside resident, “it becomes a situation where students should give 20 or 30 minutes.”

I’d love to see a tardy employee use that excuse over and over again in the real world.

Anyway, I bet the USC law professors are never late. The students would probably sue.

Urban legends (cont.): The Daily Trojan also referred to another campus myth, one I had never heard: the belief that if your college roommate died, you would be granted an automatic 4.0 grade point average for that semester.

Recalling some of my calculating roommates, I think that if that rule had existed, my life would have been in grave peril.

Pullet Surprise candidates: As I said, Jack Smith, the late L.A. Times columnist, used that term to identify malapropisms. I also receive my share in the mail, including three examples that would have amused Jack (see accompanying):

* A vehicle apparently disguised as a desert beast (from Patrick Mauer of L.A.).

* An inanimate object named Chester (from Mil Harris of San Luis Obispo).

* And, finally, a couple of scary individuals hidden among some furniture (from Dorothy Perry of Pacific Palisades). I suspect these may actually be torchiers, or lamps.

Enough to drive the owner to drink: Just before a building was demolished, Pat Toma of Burbank snapped a shot of a business that was down on its uck (see photo).

Dept. of Awkward Transitions: After the Lakers’ Shaquille O’Neal uttered obscenities about the officiating during a post-game TV interview on Sunday, the KCAL broadcasting crew immediately apologized to listeners for his language. Then they announced the player of the game: Shaquille O’Neal.

Yes, the same Shaquille O’Neal who’s a reserve officer with the L.A. Port Police.

miscelLAny: The L.A. Clippers parodied Howard Dean’s famous Iowa concession speech the other night, posting a photo of the Democratic presidential hopeful on the scoreboard while a voice shouted out the cities that the team would be visiting.

I can’t think of a more depressing development for a candidate than to be dissed by the lowly Clippers.

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATimes, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.