Let No One Cast Astigmatism on Any Pullet Surprises Won by This Column

Who bestowed the first Pullet Surprise? After I wrote about the phrase, used to describe a malapropism, Bruce Welmers recollected that it had been the title of a book several decades ago. I checked and learned that the out-of-print work had been written by Amsel Greene, a high school teacher. She had been inspired by a student who wrote, “In 1937, Eugene O’Neill won a Pullet Surprise.”

Commented Greene: “Here was the term for which I had been groping.... I had jotted down hundreds of classroom misinterpretations for which I had found no name.” (The late columnist Jack Smith later popularized the phrase for Times readers.) In any event, Greene found she finally had a category for such statements as:

* The inhabitants of the Sarah Desert ride camelots.

* Moses ascended Mt. Cyanide for the Ten Commandments.

* A husband-to-be gave his fiancee a choice between a ruby and an atheist.

* Another fellow drove a Chivalry.

* And, finally, a doctor advised his patient to take some milk of amnesia.

Congratulations to all the Pullet Surprise winners.

Moving on to “Duh!” awards: John Goodlad of Corona del Mar sent along instructions for a sink unit that could be installed even after drinking milk of amnesia (see accompanying).

Incoming!? Despite what the invoice says, Sharon Clark of Pasadena is not expecting a farm animal to land in her front yard (see accompanying). Clark did, however, purchase a cow from Heifer International, a charitable agency that will give it to a needy family somewhere in the world.

Arnold’s new role? With all the financial troubles California has, Don Bump of Arcadia was surprised that Gov. Schwarzenegger would appear with the publishers of “I Love Orlando,” a booklet promoting tourism in Florida (see photo).

I don’t want to say things are shaky in Sacramento, but ... Mark Wolschon noticed that some of the agencies don’t seem to know their own names (see photo).

Financial crisis (local): My colleague Jim Carr feels the City of Angels could create some revenue by adopting an idea proposed by a New York City advisory group: Tax cosmetic surgery.

“The business of cosmetic enhancements, including both surgical and nonsurgical procedures, is one of the fastest-growing industries in the United States,” the group’s report said, noting a quadrupling of such operations between 1997 and 2001.

Cosmetic procedures such as laser treatments and collagen injections currently are not subject to a sales tax because they are considered medical procedures, the agency said.

So why not a bo-tax (as it has been nicknamed)?

The New York mayor’s office seems uninterested in the proposal, but L.A. must preserve its reputation for innovation. Time for you to push for a face lift of the tax code, Mayor Hahn! Hop on your camelot and get to it.

miscelLAny: After the Comcast cable company made a bid to take over the Walt Disney Co., Mike Peters of the Dayton Daily News published a cartoon that showed an amusement park attendant telling a disappointed family: “Sorry, Space Mountain is broken. But if you wait, a Comcast technician will be here Tuesday between 10 a.m. and 5.”

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.