Praying to an Imaginative and Understanding God
Now that we’ve all gathered, let’s begin with some misheard thoughts for the day.
Dave Kase of Palos Verdes Estates and Jean Ratajczak of Huntington Beach both confess that when they were young they thought the Lord’s Prayer began, “Our Father/Who aren’t in heaven.” And Jim Burke recalled his brother intoning, “If I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soldier cake.”
Hear, hear: “When my two daughters were 7 and 5 years old, they asked me to take them to Disneyland,” said Joe Klass of L.A. “I said, ‘Sorry, girls, it’s just too far away.’ ‘All right, Daddy,’ the younger one replied, ‘then take us to Nots Very Far!’ ”
Tourist spots (cont.): Nancy Stewart of Whittier noticed a spot on Catalina where there’s a time limit for parking -- especially if you’ve trapped people on that adjacent bench (see photo).
Just the sponsor for a Super Bowl halftime show! Kathy Yagami of Newbury Park found an eye-catching sign that pertained not to nudist park devotees but to Naked Juice products (see photo).
Fat chance: When L.A. City Councilman Eric Garcetti endorsed the idea of fitness-obsessed L.A. selling the naming rights for the city, colleague Jack Weiss wisecracked,
“What is the official drink of Los Angeles likely to be, Mr. Garcetti? Ultra Slim-Fast?” Perhaps. Then again, Judy Silk of Pacific Palisades found a juice drink whose name might be more appealing (see photo). Of course, Naked Juice might get some votes too.
Nutty: One thing about Roger “the Peanut Man” Owens (see photo), a vendor at Dodger games for 45 years, he’s had his share of adventures. There was the time:
* That the Secret Service wouldn’t allow Owens to throw a bag to newly elected President Carter because it hadn’t been X-rayed.
* That a ban aimed at L.A. Raider fans almost ended Owens’ behind-the-back bag-tossing act at Dodger Stadium.
The ban, intended to keep fans from throwing things, was lifted after Dodger fan Ethel Bradley, wife of the mayor, protested.
* That “Tonight Show” host Johnny Carson tried to duplicate Owens’ feat of throwing a bag between his legs, miscalculated and suffered a slight injury -- it’s now a part of the “Carson’s Comedy Classics” video.
No wonder then that Owens is the subject of a biography, “The Perfect Pitch,” an affectionate work by his nephew, Daniel Green.
Incidentally, during a guest appearance at a Habitat for Humanity project in 1994, Owens ran into Carter and told him about the Secret Service veto.
“OK, then, young man, stand back and throw me a bag,” the ex-president said. And Owens finally delivered the peanuts.
miscelLAny: In a story about people who have problems finding their cars in big parking lots, the Wall Street Journal said SeaWorld named its parking sections after characters such as Seamore Sea Lion and Sir Winston Walrus as reminders. But some folks apparently couldn’t differentiate between marine animals. Said a SeaWorld spokesman: “Guests got confused, so we went back to the alphabet.”
Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 7708; by fax at (213) 237-4712; and by e-mail at steve