A ‘Queer Eye’ cast on Hussein

Re “The Big Get” (Dec. 25): I found Paul Brownfield’s excerpts from Saddam Hussein’s mailbag informative. Curiously, he chose not to include the following letter channeled through the mailroom at Bravo:

Dear Mr. Hussein: We gathered on the couch, champagne in hand, and watched as you were led out from your quarters. Carson, seeing how you were attired, ran screaming from the room. Kyan, noting your eyebrows and hairstyle, fainted. Ted yelled out, “My God, that man needs some energy smoothies.” Then the cameras panned to the space you’ve been living in, and our interior designer Thom Filicia wept. My dear, may we say that you and the hole you crawled out of look to be our biggest challenge yet. We have helped a toupee-wearing father, waxed a man’s uni-brow and given a sunless tan to one of our men. Surely even in Iraq the phrase “drab to fab” must have resonance. The “Queer Eye” limo is gassed and polished and ready.

-- The Fab Five, “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”

Steve Moore

Redondo Beach