Green Takes a Few Good Swings at the Dodgers

He’s been here four years, and I can’t recall Shawn Green saying much of anything during that time that packed any wallop.

He’s a nice guy, all right, maybe the friendliest athlete in town, but the last Dodger you’d expect to get upset about anything.

But then here we are, aren’t we, down to our last Dodger of any consequence.

“If opening day comes around and we haven’t improved from where we are now,” he said, “I’m going to be very upset.”

Shawn Green upset! I’d have to see that for myself.

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I GOT a sneak peek Wednesday morning sitting in the Dodger dugout.

He began by criticizing himself, of course.

“Last year was an offensive disaster and I was the leader of that disaster,” said Green, who underwent shoulder surgery after hitting only 19 home runs. “I’ve got to do my part to improve my performance.”

The Dodgers also need a right-handed power hitter to hit behind Green. They needed that last season, and signed a left-handed-hitting Fred McGriff, who made fewer appearances in Dodger Stadium than his bobblehead likeness.

“I’m frustrated right now on missing out on some guys I was hoping we might get,” Green said. “You see one of the top right-handed hitters in baseball in Vladimir Guerrero, who’d fit in perfectly here, and he goes elsewhere. That’s upsetting.”

Green said he had been told the Dodgers were in the running for Guerrero, which tells you he was duped like everyone else. The fans have reacted with anger to the Dodgers’ demise, and Green said, “I can definitely understand that.

“If it turns out [the team brings someone in] just as a band-aid, instead of the legit middle-of-the-lineup great hitter we need, then I’m going to be very disappointed. It’s pretty clear what we need, and we have to get that done.”

I guess he’s not aware the team has picked up Bubba Trammell.

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I EXPLAINED to Dodger General Manager Dan Evans why I consider him a buffoon. He seemed surprised.

“That’s not what you were calling me earlier,” he said.

I tagged him “Bogey Boy,” after noticing the license plate holder on his sport utility vehicle read, “I’d rather be golfing,” while suggesting we’d all rather see him golfing than running the Dodgers.

“I changed my license plate holder,” Evans admitted, while refusing to reveal what’s on there now. So I took a tour of the parking lot to check all the SUVs.

One read, “L.A. Dodgers,” and if I were the GM of these Dodgers, I wouldn’t want anyone to know it.

Another read, “I’m like a fine wine getting better with age,” but I noticed a talking Tom Lasorda miniature bobblehead hanging from the front mirror, so I figured it belonged to Lasorda, who can drive around all day looking at his own likeness, while pressing a button to hear himself talk.

I suppose it’s too much to hope that the one that read, “Gone Fishing,” belongs to Evans.

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I ASKED Evans if he understood how upset fans were, and he said, “The fans are passionate about the Dodgers and I think there may be some frustration that we haven’t totally addressed our situation.” THERE MAY BE SOME FRUSTRATION?

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EVANS SAID he didn’t mislead fans when he repeatedly said the impending ownership change had no impact on his dealings to improve the team.

“You haven’t heard me say that since the end of the winter baseball meetings,” he said, implying new marching orders have been issued.

I asked him if that was what he was implying, and he said, “I just said what I said,” which is true when you think about it. And maybe the first time with certainty I could say that about anything he has had to say.

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THE DODGERS need a batting coach. Who better than former Dodger F.P. Santangelo, who is doing that job in the minors for the San Francisco Giants? I mean when you think about the current Dodger hitters, who comes to mind? F.P. Santangelo.

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I ASKED Phil Jackson why he left Kobe Bryant in the game the other night when it was obvious Bryant’s shoulder was injured. He said, “I noticed you were here and wanted to give you something to [gripe] about.”

He really needs to spend more time watching the game.

I repeated the question, because sometimes I talk too fast for him, and he said when he saw Bryant dangling his arm (in obvious pain), he talked to the trainer and the trainer assured him Bryant couldn’t further damage it. So he left him in, I guess, to just suffer.

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I ALSO told Jackson that some people -- not me, of course -- were suggesting he might actually have to do some coaching now because of injuries, and I wondered if he agreed.

“I’m not going to answer a question like that,” he said, so I repeated it, just to prove I could get him to answer a question like that.

“No,” he said, he wouldn’t do any more coaching.

Jackson then was hit with a technical foul in the first quarter -- the referees’ reaction, I suppose, to his rusty attempt to actually do some coaching.

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THE LAKERS signed a guard to fill in while Bryant heals who has the perfect first name for most professional athletes: “Ime.”

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Paul Carrillo:

“I bleed Dodger Blue ... I paint LA on my son’s face (when I go to the games). Words cannot express the disappointment I feel toward the Dodger organization....”

Imagine how your son feels; I sure hope that paint comes off.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.