‘Duck’ with egg on its face

Hello, operator? Get me the number for a court. I need to have a gag order issued -- the sort that prevents perpetration of bad comic gags.

Or maybe it’s the pun police I need.

In any case, someone’s got to stop the crimes against musical theater that are being committed at the Old Globe by the creators of “Lucky Duck.”

Great things might be expected from this tongue-in-cheek reworking of Hans Christian Andersen’s “The Ugly Duckling.” After all, the creative team includes composer Henry Krieger, who turned out “Dreamgirls”; lyricist Bill Russell, who collaborated with Krieger on “Side Show”; and director John Rando, who helped generate the zaniness of “Urinetown.” But what has reached the stage in “Lucky Duck” -- the revamping of a musical previously known as “Everything’s Ducky” -- is messy and insincere, even when it’s not indulging in gags that make a person want to, well, gag.

The plot, in its broadest outline, is promising enough: In a realm of fur and fowl that mirrors the human world, a duckling, mercilessly teased for being ugly, is transformed into a supermodel swan. This sets up a commentary about our beauty-based culture, as well as a plea for people to look past one another’s differences.

But Russell and the co-writer of the book, Jeffrey Hatcher, go well beyond this as they echo sources as varied as “Animal Farm” and the film “Mahogany.” Further complications involve the natural enmity between birds and canines, as well as impending environmental disaster -- all stirred together with more pop-cultural references than an issue of People magazine.

In describing how this version of the show would differ from the one performed at La Mirada Theatre in late 2000, Hatcher promised something more political, telling The Times that “in our most pompous moments, we’re thinking of the Israelis and Palestinians, and the Catholics and Protestants in Northern Ireland.” That resonance, if it can be found here at all, is buried in a needlessly complicated plot that otherwise serves mainly to set up jokes.

Rando, meanwhile, uses the same throw-everything-against-the-wall-and-see-what-sticks approach he took with “Urinetown.” He and his cohorts come up with a few good sight gags -- a sheep chugging Woolite, canines imprisoned in a doggie travel cage -- but too rarely deliver satisfying comic payoffs. Indeed, in their worst moments, they resort to what the show ostensibly preaches against -- stereotyping -- to come up with empty laughs involving effeminate homosexuals or snobbish Europeans.

Russell’s lyrics incorporate all manner of fowl references -- “I had all my ducks in a row,” for instance, and, “Wipe that egg off your face” -- but even at its best, the wordplay induces groans, as when a wolf sings: “Outside a wolf / Inside a lamb / Nobody sees me as I am.”

In the melodies, Krieger layers gospel and blues into an otherwise generic pop-Broadway sound, achieving something memorable only in the penultimate anthem, “Don’t Start Playing My Swan Song.” Over-miking distorts the singers’ voices and makes the five-player band sound even more synthesized than it is.

Still, “Lucky Duck” is so cleverly designed and so well performed that it might pass for entertainment on a lethargic summer day. Rob Odorisio’s white-walled backdrop -- with its egg-shaped windows and doorways -- looks gorgeously Gaudi-esque. Gregg Barnes dresses the fowl in humorously plumed fairy-tale designs and the canines in hipster furs.

Marcy Harriell, portraying duckling-into-swan Serena, is a gospel-powered pop diva, and David McDonald is oh, so slick as a never-to-be-trusted wolf.

So there are good times to be had; just be sure to leave your brain at home -- along with the kids, because this often-naughty show isn’t appropriate for them.

*

‘Lucky Duck’

Where: Old Globe, Balboa Park, San Diego

When: 7 p.m. Tuesdays and Wednesdays; 8 p.m. Thursdays and Fridays; 2 and

8 p.m. Saturdays; 2 and 7 p.m. Sundays.

Ends: Aug. 15

Price: $29 to $60

Contact: (619) 234-5623

Running time: 2 hours, 20 minutes

Marcy Harriell...Serena

David McDonald...Wolf/

Charlie Crowe

Mary Beth Peil...Mrs. Mallard and others

Stephen DeRosa...King and others

Book by Jeffrey Hatcher and Bill Russell. Music Henry Krieger; lyrics Bill Russell. Director John Rando. Sets Rob Odorisio. Lights Michael Gilliam. Costumes Gregg Barnes. Choreographer Casey Nicholaw. Music direction and arrangements Sam Davis. Orchestrations Harold Wheeler. Stage manager Julie Baldauff.