A strong defense for a fete

Borscht Belt humor and fraternal ribbing marked the 51st Annual Criminal Courts Bar Assn.’s Awards Dinner Dance, held at the Millennium Biltmore on March 13.

“It’s a high school prom for criminal defense attorneys,” said attorney Andrew Stein, looking over the several hundred trial lawyers gathered for cocktails in the Tiffany Room.

“It’s a bar mitzvah for the incoming president,” countered Stein wife’s, attorney Gigi Gordon, who is on the association’s board, which chose this year’s honorees. “Tony Brooklier is getting the Jerry Giesler [Memorial] Award; chances are good he’ll do his Elvis imitation.”

Anthony Brooklier, whose clients have included Heidi Fleiss and Madam Alex, doubted there would be any hip-swiveling this evening. “They’ve got the wrong band,” he said as, behind him, two of his sons and one grandson, all 12 or under, kicked one another in the shins and made two-hand grabs at passing trays of crab cakes. “Have you met my fiancee? She’s pretty in pink.”

Former KCBS news and current “Celebrity Justice” correspondent Pat Lalama’s gossamer wrap did look as though it’d been spun in a cotton candy machine, a confectionary counterpoint to a room filled to squeezing-room-only with ladies in white fur and men in black tie.

Why did Superior Court Judge Stephanie Sautner think the place was so packed? “Because criminal defense attorneys are a breed that works very hard and plays very hard,” she said.

“It’s because they’re devious and immoral,” said Cindy Carll, and grinned when her husband, attorney and past association president Chris Chaney, assumed an expression between the Cheshire cat’s and we’ll-talk-about-this-when-we-get-home.

“She’s right,” he said, and held the pause. “They do work and play hard.”

Other hard workers in attendance included two of Robert Blake’s former lawyers, Harland Braun and Tom Mesereau.

“And if you wait a little bit longer, we can probably find four of his past attorneys,” said Los Angeles County District Atty. Steve Cooley. (Bada-bing!) “This is a night for all of us to let our hair down,” he continued, casting a mischievous eye at a man across the room. “Unless of course you’re like my friend over there, John Tyre, who doesn’t have any hair.” (Bada-boom!)

“Is Hoff going to be here? He just got his chest cracked open,” said Carey Caruso, meaning Superior Court Judge Michael Hoff, who was being given the Judicial Excellence Award, and who’d recently undergone a quadruple bypass. Hearing that Hoff would be, Caruso joked, “Good, good, he’s got some cases of mine to look into.”

Not that he’d stay for the actual awards. “This is the fun part, the schmooze,” Caruso said. “When the doors open for dinner, I go to J-town for some udon.”

Everyone else decamped for the Crystal Ballroom, where incoming association president and emcee Patrick Lake dusted off a few chestnuts. “So my wife says the other day, ‘I want you to take me somewhere I’ve never been.’ I said, ‘How about the kitchen?’ ” (The Lee Lovett Orchestra provided the rim shot.)

Attorney Robert Courtney, who as teenager in the ‘50s acted in the movies “Rock, Pretty Baby” and “Summer Love,” was being given the Joseph Rosen Justice Award and, as he forwent dessert to table-hop with friends and colleagues, was clearly beloved by the crowd.

“There’s no reason on God’s green earth why they’re giving me this award. I may not even go up,” said Courtney, who wore eyeglasses as thick and black as George Burns’ and had hands as soft as baby powder. “I think I’ll send someone else. How about you?” he said to bail bondsman Albert Lopez. “No one will know the difference.”