A House Divided, but They Can Stand It

They insist the marriage is fine.

I’ll let you be the judge.

I’m watching election returns in the Burbank home of Steve and Yolanda Whitehorse. Steve voted for Bush. Yolanda voted for Kerry.

“Thank you, Jesus!” Steve exclaims, shooting a fist into the air when a very early return gives Bush a lead in the popular vote.

Yolanda rolls her eyes. She listens to NPR. He likes Limbaugh.

If the nation’s political divide were a fault line, it would run through the granite island in the center of the Whitehorse kitchen. I came to see if there was anything to learn from them about whether, despite our differences, we can all just get along.

Maybe the trick is that Steve isn’t a right-wing nut, and Yolanda isn’t a lefty kook.

They’re moderate, more or less.

Yolanda admitted there are things about Kerry she doesn’t love, even though her vote was never in doubt.

To give you an example of how deep the divide is in this house, here’s a sample exchange.

Steve: “What you don’t like about Kerry is that he comes across as arrogant at times. Like all the time.”

Yolanda: “That’s not true.”

Steve: “Bush is a regular guy, and you hate his guts.”

Yolanda: “Not true.”

Steve: “It’s off the charts.”

Yolanda: “What he did in Iraq is just ... incorrigible. And that line of his about being the war president. A good president doesn’t just jump into war.”

Steve: “You know what? We had bad intelligence, Yolanda.”

Yolanda: “Consequences. He should have thought of the consequences.”

He voted for Schwarzenegger. She couldn’t stomach him.

She voted for stem cell research and requiring California businesses to provide health insurance. Two thumbs down from Steve.

This blessed union began on Sept. 12, 1967, when Steve (born into welfare in East Los Angeles) and Yolanda (a Panamanian immigrant) met while attending classes at Los Angeles City College.

Steve was more liberal then. Or maybe he was just knocked out by the ravishing Yolanda, and was willing to tell her anything.

They were married several years later, and Steve went into business and became a die-hard Republican. A CPA, Steve runs Whitehorse & Co. in Burbank, and got ticked off about what he called President Jimmy Carter’s anti-business policies.

Yolanda, a former teacher’s aide, knew she and her husband lived on different planets four years ago, when they couldn’t agree on anything in the Bush-Gore campaign.

And now here they are, as divided as ever.

I reminded Yolanda that Maria Shriver recently put Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger on restriction for his support of Bush -- no sex for 14 days.

The blood drained from Steve’s face.

“We’re above that,” he said, hopefully.

We opened some wine. It seemed like the right thing to do.

Yolanda laid into Bush’s tax cut for the wealthy.

“You’re living the Republican lifestyle,” Steve argued. “It’s about class warfare with you.”

“It’s about the little man,” Yolanda shot back.

“The little man doesn’t pay taxes, Yolanda.”

“They do pay. They pay sales taxes.”

“They don’t pay income tax. Yolanda, who’s the CPA?”

“I’ll give him that.”

So what makes it work between these two?

“At the end of the day, we enjoy a great bottle of wine,” says Yolanda.

People ought to be able to disagree without attacking each other, they say.

“This is what makes America great,” Yolanda says. “It’s about respect. I respect what Steve has to say.”

Even when he’s wrong? I ask.

The election night talking heads are driving Steve crazy. He gets a good look at James Carville, babbling on about something, and asks: “Is ‘CSI’ or something on tonight?”

By 9 p.m., the outcome is still way up in the air.

“Bush is on his knees praying,” Steve says.

“Not praying,” Yolanda says mockingly. “He talks directly to God.”

Whoever wins, Steve says, and no matter how divided the nation ends up, he and Yolanda will be together.

Is that the wine talking?

“All we are saying,” Yolanda sings as she dances over to embrace her husband, “is give peace a chance.”

“Don’t come near me,” Steve says.

Maybe it’s time I better go home.

Good luck to them, and to all of us.