Today, Japan; Tomorrow, the World

A year ago this week, I raced to Roscoe Boulevard in North Hills so I could catch the brand-new governor’s opening act.

Big Boy did not disappoint.

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger took the stage at Galpin Ford, extremely grateful for $500,000 in campaign donations from Galpin and other California auto dealers, and sounded like he was auditioning to be a car salesman. “Go out there,” he ordered fawning admirers. “Buy cars.”

I may have roughed up the governor a few times for kissing off most of his major campaign promises during his first year in office, so it’s only fair that I give credit where due.

Schwarzenegger is one of the greatest salesmen ever to flash a Pepsodent smile. Hollywood, obviously, was onto this many years ago, and Big Boy’s transition to politics has been seamless. No wonder star-struck Arnold backers are campaigning to amend the U.S. Constitution and allow foreign-born residents to become president.

Only a fantastic salesman could win office by bashing former Gov. Gray Davis’ special-interest politics, then go on to raise scads more special-interest money than Davis ever dreamed of, and still have sky-high approval ratings.

It’s all drama and pitch, and Arnold is a Hall of Famer. It’s not as if policymaking was the rocket he rode in on.

“The key thing is, I’m here to promote and promote and promote,” Schwarzenegger said last week in Japan, where his so-called trade mission caused a stir everywhere he went. “Market, market, market,” he went on. “This is what I know how to do, and I know that it pays off.”

The governor said he might do a Japanese commercial -- he once hawked noodles in Japan -- and use the money to open a California trade office in Tokyo.

A trade office in Tokyo?

Look, the rookie year is over. It’s time to think big. There isn’t a corporation in the world that wouldn’t pay handsomely to have Schwarzenegger as its pitchman. And with the proceeds, Arnold could square the books, fix California’s schools and feel fantastic about the extra face time.

Go for the gusto, Arnold. Just do it.

Be all you can be.

Especially since your “plan” to close the enormous budget gap has gone plop, plop, fizz, fizz.

In describing how he sold California in Japan, he said, “Everyone is in sync and making it sound, basically, even better than it is. Because that’s what marketing is all about.”

Need I say more?

When votes were counted in the presidential campaign, it came down to Ohio. And how did President Bush come out on top in a blue-collar state that lost hundreds of thousands of jobs while CEOs got huge tax breaks?

Arnold flew to Columbus in the final hour and made a pitch for W, that’s how. This guy could sell thong bikinis to Eskimos and Democracy to Iraq. He could terminate athlete’s foot.

“This is Arnold for Brut cologne, saying, ‘Don’t be a girlie man.’ ”

“This is Arnold for Aeromexico, saying, ‘Hasta la vista, baby.’ ”

Given his close ties to the pharmaceutical industry, the possibilities are unlimited.

Who do you think could sell more Viagra, Bob Dole or Arnold Schwarzenegger?

Just a minute, honey. I’ll be back.

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To enter the Save Our State Sweepstakes and qualify for a talking Terminator 3 doll, send your sales pitch ideas for Gov. Schwarzenegger to steve.lopez@latimes.com (Relatives of the governor and aides who have already received gifts from special-interest groups are not eligible to participate.)