WONDER WORD

Virtually every cable news network described as a “miracle” the safe evacuation of all 309 people aboard an Air France jet that crashed Tuesday in Toronto. “The Daily Show’s” Jon Stewart’s response: “A miracle? A miracle is defined in my dictionary as ‘a marvelous event manifesting a supernatural act of God.’

“To me, the only thing that happened that could remotely fall under the category ‘act of God’ was when the plane was hit by lightning. If anything, God was trying to kill these people. His plan was foiled by the crew’s satanic competence. Can’t someone take a little human credit for a job well done?

“It’s not a miracle. If all the passengers had died and then, three days later, come back to life ... that would be a miracle.”