Celluloid Reality, Not the Truth, Would Help

The Dallas Cowboy lineup will include as many as 12 starters 30 or older this season, which might explain the recent appearance in training camp of Kevin Costner, who has portrayed aging athletes on the silver screen.

“It’s a question that every one of these guys has to answer at some point,” Costner told the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, “because, really, the reality of what we’re watching right now is, for some guys, this is the end of the road.”

Presumably, his pep talk to the team was more uplifting.

Trivia time: What NFL team had the highest average player age in 2004? What was the average?

Too much information: Lester Bedford of the El Paso Diablos is the Central Baseball League’s oldest rookie at 49, and this week made his first start, catching the first two innings and drawing a walk in his only at-bat in a 10-2 win over Pensacola.

Asked to share his feelings, Bedford told the El Paso Times: “Other than my kids being born and my wedding day, that’s the most fun I’ve ever had with my clothes on.”

Thankfully, nobody asked him to elaborate.

Redskin rage: As the Washington Redskins go, so goes Dale Earnhardt Jr., who is so obsessed with the NFL team that he receives game updates during his NASCAR races.

“I’ve got to know,” he told Associated Press. “I can’t concentrate on what I’m doing if I don’t know what the Redskins are doing. My fans tell me if I lose, it ruins their week. But if the Redskins lose, it ruins my week.”

Earnhardt ought to be a mess before long. The Redskins were 6-10 last season.

Fast lane: Redskin Coach Joe Gibbs is delighted to have Earnhardt as a supporter but said he’d never be able to afford to have the driver on the Joe Gibbs Racing team. “He makes about $50 million a year, so if I could pop [for] that, he might have a chance,” Gibbs said. “You know you’re in the wrong sport when both your drivers have Learjets and you don’t.”

Who needs waves? The Denver Post’s Scott Willoughby, who was in Los Angeles for last weekend’s X Games, took exception to a claim made by ESPN that L.A. is the birthplace of action sports.

“The way I see it, skateboarding is the only actual sport L.A. can take credit for, basically by adding wheels to a traditional water sport so the locals could surf all those streets between traffic jams,” Willoughby wrote, the thought obviously having been inspired while he was in gridlock.

Trivia answer: The Tampa Bay Buccaneers, with 16 players 30 or older, led the league with a 27.81 average.

And finally: The folks at PETA ought to love this: Shane Willmott of Canberra, Australia, has taught three mice -- named Chopsticks, Harry and Bunsen -- how to surf on tiny boards in small waves off the Gold Coast.

Willmott was quoted by Reuters as saying that he trains the rodents in his bathtub and occasionally uses dye to darken Chopsticks’ fur before sending him out “because he’s white [and] when he gets in the whitewash, it’s hard to find him.”

Suddenly, the phrase “shark bait” comes to mind.