Football Fans Will Soon Arrive at Fantasy Island

Separating reality from fantasy is getting harder all the time -- or, if you missed it, this is what happened on ESPN’s “NFL Live” on Tuesday:

After an interview with new Arizona Cardinal quarterback Kurt Warner, analysts Mike Golic and Mark Schlereth discussed Warner’s prospects for the upcoming season, with Golic concluding, “They say he can be a ‘system quarterback.’ It certainly didn’t work with the Giants.... They’ve got to make him get rid of the ball quickly ... hit those guys in stride, they can get yards after the catch. He could have a very positive impact on the Arizona Cardinals, Trey.”

For real?

As fans who remember Warner’s impressive wounded-duck collection, circa 2002-2004, were trying to come to grips with that fantastic notion, Trey Wingo shattered the mood by interjecting, “Tell you what, guys, he could be a good sleeper fantasy quarterback pick.

“And speaking of that, when putting your fantasy team together, which QB is the best bet? And which big name didn’t even make our top five?

“We’ll tell you. Stick around!”

After a too-brief break, “NFL Live” was back with its second in a 10-part (!) fantasy football series. Tuesday, the focus was quarterbacks. Peyton Manning, Daunte Culpepper and Donovan McNabb placed 1-2-3, which sounded rather realistic. Then came No. 4, Trent Green, followed even more curiously by No. 5 ... Kerry Collins?

In which real-life 2005 football league would Collins rate as a better quarterback prospect than Tom Brady or Brett Favre or Michael Vick or Ben Roethlisberger or Drew Brees or your-next-half-dozen-choices-here?

But in fantasy football, racking up yards and touchdowns are the order of the day, and big things are expected of Collins because of the Randy Moss factor (wildly talented wideout who actually might be motivated this season) and the Oakland Raider factor (lousy team that will be trailing a lot this season, meaning Collins will be throwing many passes).

ESPN is using its “SportsCenter” and “NFL Live” fantasy football segments to promote, of course, its 90-minute fantasy football preview program, “Special Edition Monday Night Countdown Fantasy Draft Special,” which will air at 3:30 p.m. Thursday, Aug. 25, previewing a season in which ESPN will run its customary fantasy leagues and will provide weekly fantasy league advice on its website, radio network and a variety of television programs.

Out of control?

Or just tapping into the mood of Sedentary Nation, where three of the country’s leading pastimes are a) sitting and watching grown men sit inside stock cars; b) sitting and watching quasi-celebrities sit around poker tables; and c) sitting and plotting whom to start and whom to sit in Week 7 of your sit-and-pretend-you’re-the-GM fantasy football league?

While contemplating the answer to that one, I decided to use Yahoo’s search engine. There, right between the music and mail icons, was a small red helmet and a link to “Fantasy FB.” Click the link and you are transported to Yahoo’s Fantasy Football center, where you are invited to play fantasy football this season for free -- or for the “serious player who is dedicated and demands intense competition,” there is Fantasy Football Plus. Cost for all this extra serious intensity: $24.99 a team.

Helping players prep for these leagues has become its own cottage industry. On a recent trip to my local book-CD-DVD-iced-coffee emporium, I walked through the front door, turned right and was ambushed by a rack of fantasy football magazines, 13 of them in full-on blitz, each of them promising exclusive insights and hot tips not to be found in any of the other 12 fantasy mags on the rack.

Eight of them featured a photo of San Diego Charger running back LaDainian Tomlinson on their covers.

Eleven of them had Tomlinson rated as their top overall fantasy league pick.

But, hey, this is information YOU CANNOT GET ANYWHERE ELSE!

So which magazine is going to get your hard-earned $6.99 U.S.? (In Canada, these same magazines go for anywhere from $8.50 to $10.99, which seems a rip-off. Not a single CFL mock draft in any of them.)

Fantasy Football Weekly offers “7 Cheat Sheets Customized To Your League’s Scoring System.”

Lindy’s Fantasy Football promises to answer the burning question, “Is Big Ben Legit?”

Fantasy Football Draftbook touts “exclusive interviews” with Domanick Davis and Deuce McAllister.

FantasyGuru.com offers “exclusive interviews” with “four breakout backs” -- Kevin Jones, Julius Jones, Tatum Bell and LaMont Jordan.

(Fantasy football tip No. 137: A guaranteed method to get your photo on the cover of a fantasy football magazine is to grant that fantasy football magazine an exclusive interview.)

The Fantasy Football Guide suggests you pay close attention to its mock draft because “Our Experts ROCK.”

Fantasy Football Index teases with “Why Denver’s Tatum Bell Is The Key To Your Draft,” which probably falls under the heading of “Too Much Information And/Or Time On Our Hands.”

The NHL, which was its own sort of fantasy league last season, featuring no teams and no players and living only in the imaginations of its fans, talks about reclaiming its spot as the fourth major sport in this country.

But let’s not kid ourselves. NASCAR has already sped past hockey. So has televised poker. If you were to truly rank the most popular sporting activities in this country in 2005, the top three would look something like this:

1. Pro football

2. College football

3. Fantasy football

This list is debatable, of course.

There is a chance I ranked fantasy football too low.