If Cut, They Have to Bring the Joystick

How do NFL players pass time when they’re not playing football? If they’re Pittsburgh Steelers, they play more football, said running back Willie Parker.

He told the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette that he and teammates play the “Madden NFL 06” video game “day in, day out” at the practice facility and in dorm rooms.

Apparently, coaches aren’t concerned about athletes going soft while playing the game. Said Parker: “We’ve got a little push-up rule: You lose, you’ve got a hundred push-ups. If you lose by three touchdowns, you’ve got 200 push-ups.”

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Trivia time: On this date in 1922, the Cubs led the Phillies, 25-6, in the fourth inning. What was the final score?

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Merciless: In women’s soccer play last weekend, SK Berlaar was beaten by KV Mechelen, 50-1.

Substitute goalkeeper Charlotte Jacobs, in the newspaper Het Laatste Nieuws, blamed the loss on the fact that the starting keeper skipped the game to attend a concert.

But looking on the bright side, Jacobs added that the team tightened up defensively after trailing, 27-0, at halftime. “After halftime we were able to recover,” she said. “We had to stomach only 23 goals.”

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Uninspiring: Outfielder Corey Patterson of the Chicago Cubs drew the ire of teammates and fans when he said after a recent loss to Colorado, “It’s just a game, you know?”

In response, David Haugh of the Chicago Tribune wrote, “To some Cubs fans who spend sleepless nights when their team loses, calling one of 162 ‘just a game’ is like a guy donating a kidney saying it’s just an organ.”

It might also be said that Patterson, whose comments came after he had grounded out with the bases loaded, is just another so-so hitter with an unimpressive .227 batting average.

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The lowdown: In this space last week, a trivia question pertained to the 54th anniversary of the day the 3-foot-7 Eddie Gaedel was used as a pinch-hitter for the St. Louis Browns.

Reader David Macaray adds an amusing anecdote from Jim Bouton’s book, “Ball Four: The Final Pitch,” in which catcher Bob Swift recalled using a timeout before Gaedel’s at-bat to give pitcher Bob Cain some needless advice.

“Keep it low,” Swift said.

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Some best friend: Pro bass angler Jeff Hanna told the Inside BASS newsletter that he once caught a Jack Russell terrier after casting a large lure the dog presumably mistook for a catfish. “I was looking away when I heard a big splash,” Hanna recalled.

“Next thing I knew, I had about seven pounds of dog literally tail-walking. This thing was coming at me, and what do you do? Do you net him? We got him off and he was in good shape. I’ve just got to be checked for rabies now.”

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Trivia answer: The Phillies rallied to make it closer, 26-23, which held as the final score after they left the bases loaded in the ninth.

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And finally: Tim Kawakami of the San Jose Mercury News on Randy Moss’ marijuana revelation: “Do you think he was going to sit around forever and let Terrell Owens hog all the attention?”