Driven Woman Blindsides DMV Vision Test

“So I’m at the Glendale DMV office to renew my driver’s license, and these two women are chatting about how busy it is,” begins the note from my colleague Paul Whitefield.

“The one says to the other: ‘But you said it wasn’t crowded at all the other day when you came. Why didn’t you renew your license then?’ And the other woman says: ‘I was just here checking out the eye charts. I wanted to memorize them all.’

“ ‘Oh, do you have trouble seeing the letters?’ the one asks.

“ ‘Well, I’m blind in one eye, but I don’t want them to know,’ says the other, ‘so I memorized the eye chart, and then when they ask me to cover up my good eye, I know what the line says.’ ”

Added Whitefield: “I made sure to leave before she got her new license.”

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Hope the street-sweepers are careful: J.L. Martinez of Rancho Santa Margarita found a neighborhood in that city where, I’m afraid, the floors will soon have skid marks and oil stains (see accompanying).

Martinez was also at a loss to explain how a Rancho Santa Margarita house could have a Laguna Beach garden.

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Their sky is falling: In the San Bernardino area, Kit Hope chanced upon an opportunity for those wishing to get a little exercise while preparing dinner (see accompanying).

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But if you’re trying to lose weight: I’d think twice about the company with the ad spotted by Jean Gardner of Westlake Village.

The ad seems to say the company’s of no help at all (see accompanying). (Or was it supposed to say “without help”?)

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Sure, land’s cheaper in Arkansas: But Barbara Wolff of Thousand Oaks still couldn’t believe the price she read in The Thin Blue Line, an L.A. Police Protective League publication (see accompanying).

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Who says athletes don’t have to rough it?: Awhile back I mentioned the 1962 opening of Dodger Stadium, which had two drinking fountains -- one in each team’s dugout. Health authorities later ordered the installation of fountains for fans.

Well, a different omission has been discovered at Petco Park, the San Diego Padres’ new stadium.

The visitors’ right-field bullpen, on the opposite side of the field from the visitors’ bench, has no bathrooms, the Seattle Times reported.

So when Mariner reliever Matt Thornton felt the call of nature one recent night, he had to climb over a fence into the stands to find a public bathroom.

And then he had to stand in line.

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miscelLAny: Efren Bojorquez saw this sign at a New T.G.I. Friday’s in Buena Park: “Grand opening Wednesday.” Said Bojorquez: “They couldn’t wait two days until Friday?”

Guess I’m a day late with the item myself.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.