Even a Heated Discussion Can’t Steam This Frank

Put a call into Frank McCourt, the Dodger owner, and we chatted Wednesday about the team’s future, which he said “is very bright.”

I think you know what I said.

At one point he suggested we change jobs for a week, with him writing Page 2 and me taking over the Dodgers.

I liked the idea of sitting next to the Screaming Meanie in their private seats at Dodger Stadium and seeing how long she could remain mum, but I don’t know whether I could go a whole week without having enough money to do what I want, so I put him off.

We talked a long time without any interference from one of his crisis managers. At times it was even enjoyable, and McCourt, although always professional, gave as well as he took.

I asked whether we have seen the last of $2 Tuesdays, a no-brainer, I thought, and he said, “I wouldn’t be surprised to see something like that come back.”

Great news, Raider fans.

“It wasn’t $2 Tuesdays; I’ve done my research on it,” he said, while promising to maintain a fan-friendly Dodger Stadium.

I offered him one “do-over,” the chance to say he goofed when he took the names off the back of the no-names who now play for the team.

“No. 1, the size of the number on the jersey should be larger,” McCourt said, and I’d be all for putting a big double zero on the back of most of these guys.

“If I had the benefit of 20-20 hindsight with every decision,” he said, “sure, I might do things differently. But I believe as fans become more familiar with the players this will become a non-issue.”

Raise your hand if you think you’ll ever be able to differentiate between a Rose or an Edwards without help?

“It’s something I will revisit at the end of the season,” McCourt conceded, and you have to like the sound of that.

I asked whether he had any trouble getting return calls from his wife, and he said, “You’re assuming she talks to me?”

OK, so the guy can be all right on occasion, although I’m sure he’s going to pay the price for it at home. But we still disagree on one fundamental point.

“It’s all about the fans,” McCourt said, and although he gets no disagreement there, McCourt contends the 500,000 increase in attendance last season, the first playoff win in 16 years and the rise in attendance this year are clear signals to him that fans are in agreement with the team’s new direction.

“Most of our fans understand the reality of what’s going on here,” McCourt said. “They understand how committed we are to winning. How hard we’ve been hit by injuries, and they appreciate the way the players are battling. That’s why they are coming out in record numbers.”

I disagree. The people I hear from are disgusted with the team’s triple-A look with the realization that payroll money has not been spent -- as promised -- which could have been used on more experienced backups.

“It wouldn’t be the first time you and I hear from different people,” McCourt said, and we shared a laugh -- never thought I’d be writing that.

*

TIMES BASEBALL scribe Tim Brown pronounced the Dodgers finished this week. I told McCourt I had no idea how Brown could write such a thing, because I had already eliminated our heroes on opening day.

McCourt didn’t flinch. “I like this team a lot. It takes a couple of things to win in baseball. It takes talent, and it takes character. We really knew this team had talent; you can see it on paper ...”

I interrupted, and as I pick up today’s paper the Dodgers are 40-44.

He kept right on going. “The question with every team is character. You can only judge character when a team has to deal with adversity,” he said, which makes the Dodgers losers, sitting below .500.

“This team dealt with adversity and has come through with flying colors,” he said. “We’re only five games out in the loss column, and our guys have done phenomenally well with all the [injury] days lost. There’s something very gratifying in seeing a bunch of guys fight through adversity and the way these guys are doing it.”

He likes Charley Steiner. I liked Ross Porter. Again we disagree.

I maintain this team stinks, and remains close because everyone else in the NL West stinks. Before Wednesday, the Dodgers were 13-19 since June 1, the Padres were 12-20, the Diamondbacks 11-22 and the Giants 11-21. That’s stink, stink, stink, stink.

“I’m personally committed to winning, so we’re going to battle all the way,” McCourt said. “Paul DePodesta has the green light to get whatever he can to make it better.”

Giving DePodesta the green light (he didn’t say the “green stuff”) at the trading deadline is pretty scary. But what does it mean? Will McCourt make good on his promise to have a $100-million payroll?

“There may have been one or two times that I may have confirmed that,” he said, when asked about his $100-million promise, “but I’ve never said what we’re going to spend.”

If it sounds contradictory, it is. He intimidated/suggested/said earlier that the Dodgers were going to spend $100 million, and by most accounts the payroll is now $85 million or so.

“It’s just not true,” he said, so what is true? “I’m not going to do the math for people. There are a lot of different ways to add it up.”

So why not settle this mess and add it up for us?

“I know how to add it up,” he said, but he wouldn’t do it for me, his new buddy.

But I’ll bet if I give him a chance to write Page 2, he’ll demand to have the numbers in print. If not, at least I’ll get a peek at the books as Dodger owner for a week.

*

TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Alberto Reano:

“In [Wednesday’s sports page], I find the picture of Jason Phillips going after the foul ball with Jim Tracy and another coach trying to get out of the way a bit curious.”

I know what Phillips had to be thinking: You’d think there would be one idiot in the dugout who would put a hand out.

T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.