This Is the Police -- Put the Cigarette Down Slowly

The “suspicious subject” sat in his parked El Dorado at the curb, smoking a cigarette, a caller told Claremont police. They checked out the 60-ish man and found that he wasn’t breaking the law, perhaps just a promise. The Claremont Courier’s Melissa Mansfield reported that the gent had lighted up away from the prying eyes of his wife, who forbids him to smoke.

Dog daze: The ad that Kit Hope of Garden Grove spotted is not saying the pooch looks like singer Jessica Simpson -- but like the dog that appears on her television show (see accompanying).

Unclear on the concept: Robert Newcombe of La Canada Flintridge found a bus stop that is either temporarily closed permanently or permanently closed temporarily (see photo).

Unclear on the concept (Part 2): I always wonder why some businesses use ad lines that can be read the wrong way, with disastrous connotations.

For example, Terrance Miller of Long Beach and Neil Clark of Paramount separately noticed the same sign for a sale of tires that I would be afraid to put on my car (see photo).

And Gloria Greengard of West L.A. read about an apartment that figures to be coming apart at the seams in the near future (see accompanying).

Speaking of unfortunate wording: Mention was made here of a cemetery offer that used the word “expires.” George Shearer recalled seeing a sign for a bait stand that had an arrow that was supposed to point down the street but appeared to be aimed at a graveyard. The sign said: “Nightcrawlers for Sale.”

Food talk: Jim Mentzer of L.A. was amused by the anecdote in this space about the two German visitors who visited a Wienerschnitzel stand and tried, unsuccessfully, to buy Wiener schnitzel (a breaded veal cutlet).

Hamburgers and hot dogs, yes; schnitzel, no.

Mentzer points out that Americans have been “fast and easy” with the German language in other ways, “such as referring to a ground beef patty on a bun as a ‘hamburger’ or ‘burger.’ ” (“Burger” means “citizen” in German.) “ ‘Hamburger’ means ‘originating in the city of Hamburg’ and has nothing to do with ham.

“Anyway, our ‘hamburger’ actually originated not in the city of Hamburg, but on the ships of the Hamburg-America line, where it was a cheap way to feed the immigrants who were coming to America.”

miscelLAny: One last item in our discussion of this tricky language: I’m not sure a court context was the ideal place for the Rev. Jesse Jackson to say that Michael Jackson has the “conviction of his innocence.”

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.