Dodgers Selling One-Way Tickets to Exasperation

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t get e-mail from Dodger fans, in most cases folks who are willing to buy season tickets but who are disgruntled now with the way they are being treated.

Just wait until they get a load of what they’re paying to watch.

Norton Kirschbaum wrote: “I have been a Dodger season-ticket holder for over 25 years. This year, I mailed in my check in January. I never received them, so on March 17 I called and was told the reason my tickets had not been sent was that I owed an additional $56 for the preseason Angel games. In the past 25 years they have been optional.”

I guess the Boston Parking Lot Attendant wants to cash in on the baseball battle for Los Angeles, demanding payment for practice games. I guess he really does need the money.

“Nobody called informing me of the change,” Kirschbaum said, and so he called the Dodgers. “I said, ‘OK, just bill me.’ The reply was, ‘We can’t.’ I asked to speak to someone in authority. He was out, but would call right back. It NEVER happened. In frustration, I called again and an apologetic voice at the other end took my credit card number....”

Frankly, Norton, you got off easy. The Dodgers could have sent Milton Bradley to your home for a little conversation.

Diane Turriff wrote: “We have been season-ticket holders in the blue reserved level for several years. They are not real high-priced seats, but we think they are pretty good seats. Every year when we receive our tickets, there is also included two passes for the Stadium Club to use twice a season. They are not free, as we pay for our meals. It is just a nice perk to be able to go to the Stadium Club, which we considered a privilege. To just sit there at the window and have a meal was just very special to us. Well, this year NO PASSES.”

You and Ross Porter have something in common, Diane, you haven’t been invited back, and for apparently no good reason.

Leslie Cyril wrote: “My UPS package of Dodger season tickets was stolen from my front porch. I called the season ticket office, just try getting some answer on what they do about apprehending thieves. They claim to have a staffer who handles ‘fraud,’ but they don’t seem to want me interacting with their Columbo. And I don’t think they care if a reprint gets to me in time for the first game.... I called [Frank] McCourt’s office to voice concern over my treatment by staff, and insisted he call me back since he returns all fan calls.”

Hope you accept collect calls, Leslie.

There have also been e-mails from unhappy Dodger fans regarding the discontinuation of shuttle service from Union Station, and other service complaints.

Some folks bought individual game tickets through a baseball publication in the past, but apparently no more, irritating Rich Von Slomski, who wrote, “Gosh, I wonder what Frank McCourt is trying to tell me? Now they don’t want anyone less than corporate to buy tickets. I have decided to write the Dodgers off.”

If there is some way you can get a tax break for that, Rich, I’m sure Frank will be in touch.

The new seats being added on the field have prompted a number of displaced fans to e-mail with problems, stories of poor responses from the Dodgers and a request for Page 2 help.

I find all this very amusing because I’m sitting in the Caesars Palace Race and Sports Book, which paid me $3 Thursday for 12 hours of thrilling entertainment, and $3 more on Friday for last-second shots that had “the crowd going wild,” as the T-shirts they sell here promise. It was a great time, and at no time did they play loud music between plays or games.

In most cases they provide FREE PASSES for beverages. Parking is free. They do not allow cellphones, which makes it the ultimate escape, and because Jamie McCourt isn’t going to return a call, there’s no need anyway to have it on.

There’s some risk, of course. I wasn’t obligated to spend a penny, but I bet $11 on each of the 16 NCAA tournament games played Thursday, and for that $176 investment, I got a return of $179. It was the same outcome Friday, a $3 profit. It might take a little longer than I thought to bring Caesars to its knees.

Hey, I can’t get McCourt to return a call, but Caesars was so thrilled to be called, the president of the place promised to match what I collect from the Race and Sports Book and donate it to the Mattel’s Children’s Hospital at UCLA.

The Dodgers wouldn’t even make their parking lot available to families for the Cure Autism Now walk. A “friend” of Page 2 donated $5,000 to cover the cost of the walk at the Rose Bowl. It’s a donation the Dodgers probably should’ve made.

But then the Dodgers just can’t seem to do anything right, always seemingly motivated by the desire to make the money they don’t have and cutting corners at the expense of their loyal fans. You talk about March Madness; it has a whole different meaning when it comes to Dodger fans and a few days in Las Vegas.

“This weekend is all about the recreation players, folks who come to town just for fun, maybe win a little, or lose a little,” said Chuck Esposito, Caesars’ bookmaker. “It’s loud cheer after loud cheer here for four straight days. It’s fun and you get the whole package, great food, the pool, Celine Dion or Elton John....”

I know this, when it comes to delivering hits, I’ll take Celine and Elton over Hee-Seop Choi and David Ross.

I also know I’m going to savor a final day here, knowing the e-mail that awaits when I get home from disgruntled Dodger fans, and the effort it’s going to take to get a return phone call on their behalf from the Dodgers.

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DAY 3 UPDATE: Eight games Saturday, and I won four, dropped four, for a $4 loss. I’ve now wagered on 40 games to raise money for Mattel’s Children’s Hospital at UCLA, won 20, lost 18 and tied 2 for a three-day profit of $2, and maybe a new tongue depressor for one of the kids.