The Bard of Avon Calling

Earlier this month, it was revealed that the advertising industry is tapping Broadway theater-goers as its newest target audience, employing clever product-placement among the words, music and scenery of current hit shows. The revival of “Sweet Charity,” for instance, features a line of dialogue in which a waiter asks a customer, “Gran Centenario, the tequila?” Such a ruse may not faze fans of light comedies or fluffy musicals, but would Madison Avenue have the audacity to slip sly slogans into the iambic pentameter of William Shakespeare?

Probably.

“Out, damned spot! Out, I say -- with Woolite!”

Macbeth (Act 5, Scene 1)

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“Something is rotten in the state of Denmark. So come to Jamaica!”

Hamlet (1, 4)

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“A horse! a horse! My kingdom for a horse! Or the 325-horsepower Grand Cherokee, now at your Jeep dealer.”

King Richard III ( 5, 4)

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“To sleep, perchance to dream -- in just 20 minutes, with Ambien.”

Hamlet (3, 1)

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“Beware the ides of March ... Madness! Only on ESPN.”

Julius Caesar (1, 2)

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“But, soft! What light through yonder Andersen window breaks?”

Romeo and Juliet (2, 2)

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“The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers. Then it’s Miller time!’

-- Henry VI, Part 2 (4, 2)

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“If music be the food of love, play on. And while you’re at it, Play SuperLotto Plus!”

-- Twelfth Night (1, 1)

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“Lord, what fools these mortals be! Tonight on ‘Hannity & Colmes!’ ”

-- A Midsummer Night’s Dream (3, 2)

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“Eye of newt, and toe of frog, wool of bat, and tongue of dog. Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onion on a sesame seed bun.”

-- Macbeth (4, 1)

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“This was the unkindest cut of all. That’s why I’m stucketh on Band-Aids, and Band-Aids are stucketh on me!”

Julius Caesar (3, 2)

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“Now is the winter of our discontent -- but you’ll have the summer of your dreams at Six Flags Magic Mountain!”

King Richard III (1, 1)

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“To be or not to be, that is the question. For everything else, there’s MasterCard.”

-- Hamlet (3, 1)