Shaq Still Plays the Heavy in Playoff Drama

For Laker fans, to whom Miami’s success is like a dagger in the heart, who feel like gagging, or crying, when they see Shaquille O’Neal doing one of his comedy numbers, here’s the good news:

It isn’t any easier than it ever was. He’s still Our Shaq, after all.

With Shaq, here or in Miami, then or now, it’s always the best of times and the worst of times, at the same time.

No NBA team ever started 8-0 in the playoffs amid so much uneasiness. In Miami, they’re not asking if the Heat might sweep the postseason but, “How’s Shaq’s thigh?”

For the first time in this millennium, you can imagine each of the four teams in the conference finals winning the title. The West will have another shootout with the Suns’ Steve Nash, coming off his astounding three-game run, in which he averaged 40.3 points, 9.0 assists and 9.3 rebounds, going against the Spurs, who will try something new, guarding him.

The East will have the usual defensive struggle as O’Neal and the Heat meet Detroit’s Larry Brown and his merry crew, who terminated Shaq’s Laker career a year ago.

On the bright side, no matter what happens, Shaq has already saved the Miami franchise. The Heat, which curtained off entire sections in recent seasons, is now the hottest ticket in town. Heat merchandise now outsells all NBA teams’ nationally, replacing the old king, the (sob) Lakers.

No one ever had more fun in victory. The once-grim Heat is now more like a comic strip than a basketball team. O’Neal named Dwyane Wade “Flash.” When Alonzo Mourning scored 21 points in Game 2 of the New Jersey series, Shaq announced, “The Hulk saved Superman.”

Proceeding in that vein, TNT’s studio crew named three-point ace Damon Jones “Alfred the butler,” for the character who took care of Batman and Robin. Jones thought this was great until he found out TNT had superimposed his head on a cartoon, showing him with a toilet plunger and other household implements.

“The Alfred the butler thing, I’m kind of over that,” Jones said the next day. “I don’t want to be Alfred the butler no more.... I don’t do toilets, man. I shoot the basketball, man.”

Nor could O’Neal have a more worshipful following. When Nash edged him out in the MVP balloting, Shaq took it graciously but the Miami Herald’s Dan Le Batard went bonkers.

“How much of this has to do with race?’ wrote Le Batard.

“A lot?

“A little?

“Or ‘zero,’ as Heat President Pat Riley said before the little white guy beat the big black guy for the MVP.

“I, too, am tired of seeing racism thrown like a Molotov cocktail into situations where racism doesn’t exist.

“But don’t you have to ask these questions when confronted with something unprecedented? Or do we just continue laughing and making noise at our playoff cocktail party while ignoring the pinkish elephant standing in the middle of the room in a Nash jersey.”

Personally, I’m for ignoring the pinkish elephant in the middle of the room in a Nash jersey. I voted for O’Neal on the basis of his impact and his body of work. It is, indeed, remarkable the game’s most dominating player has one MVP, but it’s no mystery.

It’s hard to win the top regular-season award when you take much of the regular season off. If Shaq had put as much into every season as he put into this one, they’d be calling it the Shaquille O’Neal Trophy by now.

Now he’s 33 and no matter how hard he works, a career of carrying anywhere from 292 (those were the days) to 375 pounds is catching up. If his injury, a deep bruise in his massive right thigh caused by Jermaine O’Neal’s knee, has nothing to do with wear and tear, the years are still catching up.

Jerry Buss had a point, although it would have been more gracious if he hadn’t been so pointed, O’Neal’s having won him win three titles and made him at least $250 million in eight seasons. Counting appreciation of the franchise, it was at least $500 million.

By the way, Shaq isn’t 60 pounds lighter. He wasn’t that heavy last season (say, 340, after making an unprecedented effort to get in shape) and he isn’t that light now (probably 325 at his lowest and more now after sitting out).

Even after taking eight days off in April and sitting out the last 12, he’s still hurting. After last weekend’s romp over the Wizards, Coach Stan Van Gundy conceded the injury “did seem to get worse and I don’t understand that.”

Van Gundy said when he asked Shaq how he felt, he answered, “Depressed.”

Suggesting his mood isn’t much better, O’Neal, who’s usually the toast of the postseason, hasn’t been talking much. Karen Crouse of the Palm Beach Post, a longtime Shaq watcher (it was her shoulder he pretended to cry into when told Nash had won the MVP), even dared to pose the big question in print:

“Was Jerry Buss right?”

Down the road, O’Neal’s career will depend on his attitude. There’s already talk about whether he’s making Wade better or it’s the other way around.

The bottom line is, they’re a devastating tandem and will stay that way if O’Neal can ignore the jibes and keep working the way he began doing when the Lakers traded him. If the deal was the worst thing that ever happened to the Lakers, it was the best thing that ever happened to him.

Even at 75%, there’s nothing like him. This week, though, every percentage point counts.

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Faces and Figures

There were greater players than Reggie Miller but there may never have been a better farewell than Friday’s Game 6 loss to the Pistons, in which he scored 27 points at age 39, including several of his patented semi-impossible, turnaround, hand-in-his-face three-pointers. Before it ended, Piston players began hugging him. When Miller came out, Brown called timeout to prolong the ovation, led his team to mid-court and they applauded, too. Said Brown: “I just wish I had more timeouts to keep it going.” ... Making it more moving, these were the teams who rumbled in Detroit in December. No one does moments like baseball, but Miller’s farewell wave to the full house in Conseco Fieldhouse with his hand over his heart was the NBA version of Cal Ripken’s trip around Camden Yards. ... Showing who he really was, Miller said his skills had diminished so much he could have retired four years ago. Asked what he’d tell people who said his Game 6 performance showed he shouldn’t leave, he replied, “I’d tell them to go look at Game 4 and 5.” ... The reality was, in a show of humility you rarely see, Miller made possible the Pacers’ turnaround, from 2000 finalist to reborn East power, by gracefully stepping aside for young players like Jermaine O’Neal and Ron Artest. Miller might have been able to play until he was 50 if he wanted to. Strong-willed and often prickly, he wasn’t close to being a superstar when he arrived as a 6-foot-6 stick figure, but he was one when he left and few players ever showed as much heart.

Celtic General Manager Danny Ainge wants to enact a “code of conduct,” about being on time, respecting the coaches, respecting the media and becoming “more old school like the Boston Celtics.” Maybe he should start with something more basic, like “Don’t get yourself suspended during the playoffs,” as Antoine Walker did, or “Don’t get thrown out at the end of a playoff game when we’re leading and you’re fouled intentionally,” as Paul Pierce did. For sure, the old Celtics never did that. ... Ainge is expected to offer Walker, a free agent, something like $7 million a year and doesn’t care if he leaves. However, starting a youth movement with no immediate title prospects, insiders say the organization is also open to what was once unthinkable -- trading Pierce.... OK, how about to the local hope (Clippers) for Corey Maggette and Chris Wilcox? If it takes a No. 1 on top of that, throw it in, too. Wilcox and the pick are superfluous. Maggette is exciting, a major producer, a gamer and a bargain at $7 million a year but Pierce is a bona fide great player, if one with some growing up to do, and, at 27, just entering his prime. Bringing him home and adding him to their promising young lineup would be dynamite. ... No, Lamar Odom is not going to Cleveland for Zydrunas Ilgauskas. One, the Lakers don’t want Ilgauskas. Two, people close to Odom say he’s cool with being here, is fine with Kobe Bryant and doesn’t want to go to Cleveland. ... Last week’s labor blowup was the result of a story by ESPN.com’s Chad Ford, quoting several agents ripping at the agreement the union was about to accept, reportedly sending Commissioner David Stern up the wall. If a summer lockout is a distinct possibility, the players sound a lot more conciliatory than their agents. “We thought things were right where we wanted them,” said Detroit player representative Chauncey Billups. ... Said Knick player rep Jerome Williams: “We’re not going to start any kind of shouting match or blame anyone, because a deal is going to get done. We don’t want our fans to have to sit through us fighting and missing any games.” ... Said Miami player rep Michael Doleac: “If you can’t negotiate and get a deal done -- it’s not like we’ve got years anymore. We’ve got a matter of months, so that’s silly.”