He’s Terribly Sorry, but Then, so Is Devean George

I’ve known for some time that it’s an occupational hazard, much like the folks who work a cash register wearing a wrist brace to ward off the pain that comes from carpal tunnel syndrome.

I don’t know what they call the syndrome when it comes to repetitive Page 2 writing, although I’m sure I’ll get some suggestions from e-mailers, but over and over again I’ve pounded Devean George to the point where I’m exhausted.

I go all the way back to watching him in summer league play in Long Beach, and he was just terrible, then averaging 3.1 points a regular-season game in 2000-01 which was just terrible, 7.1 the following season, then 6.9, and 7.4. Terrible, terrible, terrible.

A year ago everybody was terrible, the Lakers playing lousy, and how much worse would they have been had George been able to play more than 15 games?

Well, it’s a new season and another chance to pound George, so I was at Staples Center for the Lakers’ home opener, and George was one of the starters, and what does that tell you about the Lakers this season?

Before the game, though, several people had come up to me, telling me that George had played well in the first game in Denver and that he was going to be a different player this season.

I must have missed the press release indicating George had a heart transplant.

*

I FORGOT, obviously, that this is the final year of George’s contract, and almost every player is different when he realizes the guaranteed money is about to run out, so I can understand why he might be motivated to play better. If it works, I’d suggest giving him another one-year contract.

From what I witnessed in the home opener, though, the motivation for a new deal that had George playing like a different player in Denver lasted one game.

Against Phoenix, he was terrible, and I feel terrible -- just terrible -- for writing it once again. In fact there was a point early in the game, the score 8-8, when George had a wide-open 15-foot jumper with all the time he wanted to shoot, the crowd buzzing and ready to scream with delight. And he missed.

I remember saying something like, “That’s my guy; he’s just terrible.”

He had one more personal foul than baskets in the first half, going two for eight from the field, while Smush Parker was giving Laker fans the electrifying spark they had probably hoped to get from George the last six years.

In the second half, once again George had more fouls (two) than baskets (one), when I couldn’t watch any longer.

Now the thing that makes this so difficult, besides coming up with another word or two for “terrible,” is that George seems like a really nice guy. There never seems to be a hint of anger, bitterness or nastiness, although we both agree whenever we see each other that the next day I will be writing just how terrible he played.

I suppose I could stop pounding on him, but you see all that potential -- the same promise of impressive play the Lakers have been waiting on for more than six years -- and it’s a confounding mystery why George just can’t take that next productive step.

If this Laker team is going to amount to much, it will certainly need more from George on a consistent basis. They didn’t get it in the home opener, and I remain intrigued why he can’t seem to deliver.

I’d hate to think it’s because he’s just terrible.

*

DODGER OWNER Frank McCourt was at the Laker game with his sons -- using free tickets, of course. He needed tickets for the game, so he put the squeeze on Steve Simpson, the big cheese at FSN West -- which does Dodger games -- and Simpson came through. Simpson also provided exclusive tickets to the Chairman’s Room, where all the rich people hang out. I would imagine McCourt felt out of place.

*

SOMEONE E-MAILED with an advertisement that apparently has been posted calling for the hiring of an assistant director of public relations -- for the Dodgers.

The candidate “must be able to ... possess a creative and proactive ability to encourage positive stories and features on the players, the facilities, events, etc.”, according to the want ad. No mention of when the candidate can expect to be fired.

*

THE BOSTON Parking Lot Attendant reportedly has an interest in Theo Epstein, the former general manager for the Red Sox, who is apparently undergoing a midlife crisis at age 31.

Epstein looked like he was going to cry during his ESPN news conference, and maybe it was the thought of working for the Dodgers, but whatever the reason, he appeared shaky. There had been a report he was leaving the Red Sox because one of the columnists in Boston wrote a column that upset him. The nice thing about working here is, he would never have that problem.

The Dodgers have also sought permission to talk with former Ranger GM John Hart. I hope they just want to talk to him about what he could have been thinking when he signed Chan Ho Park to a five-year, $65-million contract, but I fear they might be interested in him, too, for the GM post.

*

TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Mario Madrigal:

“Why don’t you do the whole world a favor and jump off a bridge. Your articles are [terrible]. I don’t care about your wife, your daughter, your granddaughter, or your son-in-law. All I care about is my sports.”

Fascinating. Can’t wait to hear more.

*

T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.