Hold Your Horses, He’s Sticking to Call on Bruins

I know how goal-oriented Pete Carroll can be, so I think I’ve got a good one for him and his Trojans.

The most points ever allowed by a UCLA football team is 103, which is obviously in reach for Reggie Bush and LenDale White given the quality of the Bruin run defense.

“One hundred and three points,” Maurice Drew said. “What, in hoops?”

Hey, the clock might be the only thing that can save the 115th-ranked rushing defense among 119 teams in the country from USC hitting triple figures.

UCLA is 9-1 and would have been only one of three undefeated teams left in the country today, making a case to be ranked No. 3 in the BCS, had the Bruins not flopped against Arizona a week ago.

But instead of positioning themselves for a New Year’s bowl at 10-0 or even a shot at the national title, the Bruins are probably headed to the Sun Bowl in El Paso, or the Holiday Bowl in San Diego, probably making their opponent the best bet in Las Vegas.

From my vantage point -- as an objective, die-hard Trojan fan until they lose -- the Bruins just might be one of the worst 9-1 teams in college football history. Frauds, if you will; at best, great escape artists at the expense of other bumbling and stumbling Pac-10 opponents.

In the last six games, the defenseless Bruins, who had every chance to be considered one of the best teams in the country, have allowed opponents to score an average of 37 points a game.

Arizona State, the latest sloppy collection of Pac-10 football players, fell behind 14-0, 21-7, 28-14 and 42-28, which should have had the Sun Devils throwing the football all over the place to catch up. But why turn down free yardage?

The Sun Devils ran for 181 yards in addition to the 334 they got from their backup freshman quarterback, and what are the chances of Uncle Pete showing mercy if USC really does go on a scoring binge?

“I think it was good we lost to Arizona,” Drew said, and can you imagine a player from USC saying something like that?

“You’ve got to be kidding,” is the way I put it.

“We were overconfident,” Drew said. “That loss leveled us, and reminded us what we have to do to win.”

I might have suggested something less severe than a loss -- maybe a reminder from Coach Karl Dorrell to play hard in every game -- but then Drew and I have been playfully at odds all season long.

We sparred at the Pac-10 media day, Drew predicting a meaningful game with USC, and a successful season for the Bruins. In doing so, he flashed the kind of charisma you’d expect from a player with so many gifted moves, and instantly won me over, although I wasn’t going to let him know that.

I teased him, predicting the Bruins would never get past Oklahoma, having no idea the Sooners were that bad. We agreed to meet by his locker after each game for a reality check.

He’s never missed an appointment, offering a grown-up lesson to a number of professional athletes in town who aren’t so responsible, while accepting every jab with a grin and embracing his role as No. 1 Bruin optimist.

“I was looking for you after the Arizona game,” Drew said, and I know some Dodgers who would still be in hiding after a loss like that.

“I’m still not a believer,” I told Drew, who then called a rather large teammate over, jokingly asking him to yell at me. At least I think he was joking.

“I’m going to tell you the same thing I told you earlier,” Drew said. “I don’t care if it’s the Patriots, the Chargers or De La Salle High School, we’re going to play to win, and with this being a rivalry game, you never know.

“I’m surprised you haven’t bought in, but you know what, I’m going to save a seat on the bandwagon for you. It’ll be right up front next to me, and you and me will be holding the horses together.”

I don’t know about horses, but I know one horse who will be dragging if USC does what I think it’s going to do against UCLA’s defense.

(That would still allow me to pull for Drew to score five or six touchdowns in a Bruin loss, but that’s just between you and me.)

*

SAINT OWNER Thomas Benson is being likened to a looter in New Orleans, while in San Diego the city attorney referred to Charger owner Alex Spanos as “a corporate welfare queen,” prompting the team’s attorney to call the city attorney the “Terrell Owens of San Diego.”

What a surprise then to find NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue rushing to Los Angeles last week for a visit, standing on the steps of City Hall and announcing for the first time the area might be best suited to having two NFL teams here, one in the Coliseum and the other in Anaheim.

*

THE BOSTON Herald, calling it hush-hush, reported Drew McCourt, the 23-year-old son of Dodger owner Frank McCourt, has been dating “Hollywood hellcat Shannen Doherty.”

I had no idea it was secret, getting e-mail from Dodger employees earlier telling me McCourt and Doherty had been seen locking lips around Dodger Stadium. I took for granted the younger McCourt was just giving Doherty mouth-to-mouth resuscitation after she freaked seeing a concession stand rat.

By the way, the Herald also reported that Doherty had been seen earlier in an L.A. night club with Matt Leinart. Given her new relationship with McCourt, I’m not surprised to see Leinart being interviewed wearing an Angel cap.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.