Graffiti Guilty of Poor Grammar? Now, That’s a Crime

Further proof of this nation’s education crisis? The crime blotter of the Student Life newspaper at Pomona College said: “An athletic (department) employee reports that derogatory remarks with poor grammar were written on a department van.”

Drive, they said: Just the other day I mentioned a candy shop’s flier informing Southern Californians of a new store located “conveniently” nearby -- in Salt Lake City.

Well, Diane Norris of Lakewood received a piece of junk mail from a hair salon about its shop -- in Iowa (see accompanying). Guess some people think that there’s no limit to how far Southern Californians will drive on errands.

Unreal estate: Anne Olmstead of La Crescenta noticed that a house was for sale in a rather prudish neighborhood (see accompanying). The price is pretty bold, though.

Unreal estate II: And Rusty Young of Anaheim Hills spotted a house that sounds ideal for college kids (see accompanying).

Can’t tell the stations without a scorecard: The feisty media website ronfineman.com caught KNBC Channel 4 anchor Paul Moyer mistakenly telling viewers to stay tuned to Channel 5 the other night as he went into a break. To his credit, Moyer owned up to the boo-boo a few minutes later. Anyway, it’s an understandable error, what with the chaotic world of broadcasting these days. Channels 2 and 9 are co-owned, as are Channels 11 and 13. Maybe Moyer momentarily thought NBC owned Channel 5.

A motto for California: Thank you, readers, for your suggestions for an inspiring slogan for this state’s boring license plates. Maybe we can’t claim “Land of Lincoln,” like Illinois can. But Louise Ramos came up with “Land of Shake and Bake.” I’m sure the DMV will want to grab that line or one of these:

* “California: Omigod! Omigod!” (Bill Tierney)

* “Millions of People, Dozens of Stories” (Tony LaHood)

* “Where Anyone Can Get Elected Governor” (Shaun Lloyd)

And my personal favorite:

* “Whatever” (Betty Cooney)

miscelLAny: Speaking of mottos, Redlands calls itself “City of Churches,” with good reason. The L.A. Daily Journal points out that the city, with 68,000 residents, has 90 houses of worship, “a figure far surpassing the number of churches in other municipalities of Redlands’ size.” Still, the city’s title isn’t as colorful as the religious-oriented slogan that Bellflower once used: “29 Churches and No Jail.”

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.