They share more than toys or clothes

SHE’S stunned that he already forgot their first quarrel over housecleaning. He’s amused to learn that she organizes her closet by color. She wants wood floors. He’s thinking new windows.

It’s work to settle into a new home with a loved one. But Stacy and Shawn Strand say they will persevere, not because they are dewy-eyed newlyweds. They aren’t. They are brother and sister, and at this point in their lives, both have decided that a sibling would make the best roommate, at least for a while.

Likewise, Aaron Giroux of Irvine wouldn’t take on a mortgage with just anyone. But sign with his brother? Absolutely. And would sisters El McElney and Alice Greenwood feel comfortable sharing an apartment with anyone else in their Lake Forest retirement community?

“No, no, no. I couldn’t,” McElney says.

Years -- sometimes decades -- after moving out of the family house, some siblings find themselves under the same roof again, usually driven by inflated real estate prices or a simple desire for companionship. In many cases, they quickly realize that living with an adult sibling can be better than rooming with a friend. Or not.

Marvin D. Todd, a Sacramento-based therapist specializing in sibling counseling and author of “Linked for Life: How Our Siblings Affect Our Lives,” sees more positives than negatives. “With siblings, more than with anyone else, we have a shared history,” he says. “They can be a natural pair.”

Those who can live together are probably benefiting from a relationship forged in childhood, he says, when parents encouraged problem solving and avoided playing judge and jury every time the kids squabbled.

“My experience has been that when siblings get along, you can always look to the parents,” Todd says.

Even when they do get along, however, siblings will face problems unique to adulthood, says Shelley Eriksen, associate professor of sociology and human development at Cal State Long Beach.

“One of the challenges of living with a sibling is that it can become kind of a bubble,” she says. “It can limit your network outside the family group. That’s not inevitable, but that certainly can be a hazard.”

Siblings also might be less likely to respect personal space and more likely to report bad behavior.

“It’s more of a challenge -- being able to have a private space where you don’t feel like the eyes of the family are upon you,” Eriksen says. “It’s different than with a friend. You don’t worry about a friend who’s going to tell your mother about some goings-on.”

Shawn and Stacy Strand discussed all that and decided to cross those bridges when they came to them.

More critical was the issue of homeownership, especially for Shawn, 32. While he left aerospace to earn a teaching credential and start a new career at International Polytechnic High School in Pomona, his friends were buying homes. His mother suggested that he team up with Stacy, who teaches second grade at Stone Creek Elementary in Irvine.

“There’s that wonderful sense of freedom I was loath to give up,” he admits with a smile.

Stacy, 29, chimes in.

“Yeah, especially with your sister.”

But living together again has gone smoothly, they say. They fixed up their late-1960s condo together and managed to agree on a color -- cranberry -- for the dining room walls. Household duties were easily divided: Shawn takes out the trash; Stacey tends the balcony plants. Each does his or her own dishes. They decided Stacy deserved the master bedroom with the adjoining bath because she had the longer commute. After a couple of days of hissing and growling, even their cats relaxed into the new mix.

“On most things, we’re either on the same page or I just give in,” Shawn says. Except if it’s something really important, he adds, smiling again and nodding toward the balcony, where a spray of silk flowers adorns the barbecue area. “No flowers by my barbecue.” (The flowers have since been removed.)

Living with his brother took little adjustment for Aaron Giroux of Irvine, because it hadn’t been very long since they were kids in south Orange County. Aaron and brother Norman, 26, wanted to move beyond their old suburban stamping grounds.

“It was just a slow and quiet place, and I’m a pretty active 24-year-old. I just wanted to be closer to all the amenities,” Aaron says.

Commuting to work in Orange from one of the more affordable but distant developments down the freeway was also unappealing. So they pooled incomes and bought a condo in Marquee Park Place, a high-rise towering over a large restaurant, entertainment and shopping complex along the San Diego Freeway.

They shopped together to make sure their decor styles meshed. Turns out Aaron likes Norman’s taste in sofas, and likewise his brother is happy with Aaron’s choice in electronics. But who wouldn’t like a 40-inch LCD TV with surround sound?

Though they moved in just two weeks ago, Aaron says, so far so good. “We haven’t stepped on each other’s toes yet.”

It’s hard to quantify how many siblings are pairing up in the state. The California Assn. of Realtors tallies home buyers who are related, and those figures have risen from 6.9% of all transactions in 2003 to 9.5% in 2005 -- statistics, however, that include parents cosigning with children.

The trend is partly driven by the fact that homeownership in California has largely become a two-income undertaking, says El Segundo real estate agent Bill Ruane.

In recent weeks he sold a town house to a brother (a police officer) and sister (a nurse) who couldn’t afford to buy on their own. He also sold a four-plex to another brother and sister, both with children.

“If people get along, I think it’s a great idea,” Ruane says. “They can buy something they want in a nice area with schools they like instead of buying something they don’t really want or waiting until they’re 40 or 50 years old.”

For Alice Greenwood, 86, and El McElney, 85, living together wasn’t a decision driven by finances.

Each sister could afford her own apartment in Freedom Village, a large retiree community. But 18 months ago, after deciding to sell their respective homes in nearby Leisure World, Greenwood and McElney saw a shared two-bedroom unit as a comfortable and natural choice.

“We’ve always been very close,” Greenwood says.

The sisters seem ideally matched. Between them they play in 10 bridge groups. They love “Jeopardy” and “Wheel of Fortune.” They’re both neat as pins. Greenwood has no children, but McElney’s two sons and families are just as dear. Greenwood’s pottery collection works nicely with her sister’s antiques. And, McElney adds with a wink, they have a cocktail together every afternoon at 4 p.m. before they go downstairs for dinner.

A shared history early in life can provide immeasurable comfort later in life, Eriksen says. “Having a common touchstone can be a real anchor.”

That bond can help erase differences too. Greenwood and McElney happen to have had few differences to begin with. Their greatest squabble is over driving. Failing eyesight prevents McElney from taking the wheel, but not from weighing in on the best routes to take.

“Oh, yes,” Greenwood says with a chuckle. “I’m always wrong and she’s always right.”

At that, both women laugh. They’ve been sisters too long to let a little roommate skirmish trouble them now.

Dawn Bonker can be reached at home@latimes.com.